


I’ll Ask Again

by Vove



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Few OC’s in this fic, Gay!!, Georgie is alive, M/M, Maggie&Wentworth Tozier are supportive, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, Referenced break ups, Richie and Eddie being dumbasses who are in love, Richie’s parents don’t suck, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, some established relationships that won’t matter after just give it a sec, they’re 24
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:17:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 35,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22613110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vove/pseuds/Vove
Summary: If you were to tell Richie that he’d be out of Derry as soon as he hit eighteen, his response would have been ‘yeah no shit’.Or: In which Richie and Eddie reconnect years later after a falling out, with still so much left untold.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! Let me preface this by stating a few things:  
-This is my first fic in a long time, so it may not be as well written as I would have hoped, but after much love for this pairing I’ve decided to have my own take on it. 
> 
> -This will be a five part story since I don’t want to drag it on any longer than it needs to be be. 
> 
> -Unfortunately I do take a while to write and update, but it will still get done. 
> 
> -Also no smut in this chapter but it’s still marked as explicit since there will be in future chapters. 
> 
> So please enjoy!

If you were to tell Richie that he’d be out of Derry as soon as he hit eighteen, his response would have been _ ‘yeah no shit’. _Though he wouldn’t have ever guessed he’d come back voluntarily, which technically he hadn’t. 

  
  


Beverly Marsh, his best friend, sister even, had finally broken through: threatening him, after years of pestering, and he wasn’t one to ever pick a fight with the redhead. 

  
  


Now here he was, right outside the skirts of Derry, a bit defeated and driving through the empty streets as he let out heavy sigh. Not being all that much of a surprise since he hadn’t exactly expected there to be many tourists out here anyways. Derry always had been a deserted, dump-infested, bigoted town. 

  
  


Though it wasn’t all bad, things could still be worse. He supposes he could take advantage of this trip to visit his folks. While he‘d been gone they’d taken it upon themselves to stop by his place out in California, for some quality family time; also knowing very well that he was done with this town. 

  
  


Really the only reason he’d agreed to visit was because somehow Beverly had found out he was staying out in Boston for a few a while. 

  
  


He usually kept shut about his whereabouts. He wasn’t exactly sure how she‘d found out, but she had, and if there was one thing to know about Beverly Marsh is that she was a force to be reckoned with.

  
  


So this is how he ended up driving four hours in this rented piece of shit car all the way to Maine. His eyes dragged towards the _ Welcome to Derry _ sign, letting out a scoff. To feel welcomed the town needed people that wanted to be visited.

  
  


Growing up he’d always had the growing suspicion that they refused to remodel or modernize anything so that people would stay away. Still looking like they were in the eighties for fuck sake, except only worse since the paint on the buildings and houses were chipped, along with the cracks and potholes in the roads. 

  
  


As he drove further into the town he was smacked with flashes of nostalgia. Some of his favorite hot spots were still up and standing, like the _ Aladdin _.

  
  


He remembers going through and taking Stan to go see the_ Dark Knight _. They’d been the only ones that summer that were still on talking terms. All seven of his friends having gotten into this big fight after Eddie had broken his arm. Ending up with Bill punching Richie for having too much to say to everyone involved.

  
  


It was a rough summer break to get through, but Stan was nice enough not to hold the nasty argument against him. So when he gathered enough of his allowance to buy them both tickets, they went. Ending with it being a fond bittersweet memory. He thinks that’s when they both grew closer.

  
  


His first stop was Debbie’s house: Beverly’s aunt. In the middle of high school, Beverly’s dad had been imprisoned for child abuse—reported by the neighbors. So Beverly’s aunt had taken her in: her mother’s sister. 

  
  


Richie could see the change in Beverly immediately—no longer being in the hands of her abuser. Debbie was one of Beverly’s biggest supporters, after Richie of course. Being the one to give her, her first sewing machine. Richie swore there wasn't anything quite like the glimmer in her eyes from that day. Coming up with so many different looks from nothing, Beverly had discovered a whole new side to herself and Richie was determined to never let her let that go. Always offering to be the model to any of her new designs. Which at the time was perfect, he was lanky and skinny, not an ounce of fat on his body. So he’d modeled both her men’s and women’s wardrobe. 

  
  


Then an inconvenient growth spurt occurred in the beginning of his senior year, which if you’d asked him wasn’t supposed to happen. He should have well been over that already, but he had actually managed to grow even taller, an inch or two it seemed. His shoulders widened and he started seeing his muscles become firm and tone, not so much as close to being classified as muscular, but definitely grown. 

  
  


Unfortunately, Beverly had said his entire physique was throwing her off as she styled him in the women's wardrobe. No longer suiting them in size anymore, as well as being too angular with the sharpness of his bones.

  
  


So, much to Richie’s delight, she had dragged Eddie into the mix. The little hot head had complained the entire time, but continued to model for Beverly anyway. Eddie had been the perfect choice since he’d barely managed to grow that year to about 5’6, as he was still in the middle of doing so. Beverly preferred his fuller, pudgier frame— Eddie not so much. Though that had all been so long ago now, unfortunately.

  
  
  
  


As Richie continued to drive, he could make out the shape of the small house that he recognized as Beverly’s. The green paint around the exterior no longer looking quite as faded with the sunny and vibrant daylight cast on it.

  
  


Pulling up into her driveway, the fiery red locks came into his peripheral as she sauntered onto her front porch and towards him—beaming. Richie gave back a smile as he took a good look at her, not having seen her in a few years. Sill standing at a total of 5’4, but carrying herself with so much confidence that she could very well stand much taller than any man he knew.

  
  


She had become a beauty of a woman, there was just something so magnetic about her. He adored her so much as a teasing sibling bond grew between them. That along with her persistence in still communicating with him, lead to being one of the many reasons as to why he’d continued to stay in touch with her after all these years,

  
  


Richie then grabbed his backpack out of the passenger’s seat before shutting the car door. Shouting “Ringwald!” with a smile, face scrunched up and squinting from the sun hitting him directly. “It’s been a minute.” 

  
  


“Idiot,” She shook her head as she slapped his arm playfully, wearing a grin on her face, “I’ve missed you.” Beverly proceeded to pull him into a tight embrace as she buried her face into his chest, breathing him in. He wrapped his arms around her, settling into the warm hug. Then taking a step back after a minute to take in the changes in his appearance. “Shit you’ve gotten even bigger, and is that stubble I see?” 

  
  


Richie turned to his profile obnoxiously so, with a mock of a smolder. “Oh you’ve noticed? The people back in Cali like it, so I guess it’s a new addition to the signature Trashmouth look.” 

  
  


“Oh shut up.” She said with no real bite behind it.

  
  


“Bevvie? Are you out here?” He hears an older woman’s voice call out, unmistakably Debbie’s. Walking out the same door as Beverly had, looking out and around to both sides before spotting them. As she stepped out he could see the grays in her once dirty blonde hair starting to become more abundant and prominent. More wrinkles settled into her face around her eyes and smile lines. She was a cute little ole thing, never backing down from pestering Richie as if he were apart of the family. 

  
  


“Richard! Is that you?” She called out with hand over her eyes attempting to block the sun. 

  
  


“Yep it’s me Deborah.” He wore a smile.

  
  


“Oh hush, since when have you ever called me by my full name?” She proceeded to swat at him as she came closer. 

  
  


“Couldn’t you tell I’m a grown man now, making a name for myself out in the west coast.” 

  
  


Debbie huffed out a laugh. “Oh trust me I’ve heard. Bevvie over here couldn’t stop talking my ear out from all the complaining she was doing. You better not take another six years to come out here and visit me again you hear me?” With that she pulled him in for a sweet tight hug, pulling away just a few seconds later. “Now you two come along I’ve just about finished with lunch.” She then scurries them into the house.

  
  


Once they’re in, Debbie makes a beeline for the kitchen. “Make yourself at home sweetheart.” She calls aloud as she continues walking.

  
  


Richie takes a look around at the small and familiar, worn down house. Filled with keepsakes and knickknacks. Patterns all over the couches, curtains and walls alongside the hung picture frames; as well as the wooden floors covered in rugs. He began to feel a bit claustrophobic, seeing how his new added height and broadened figure made him feel a little too big. 

  
  


Richie then dropped his bag at the entrance, earning himself a look from Beverly. “What?” 

  
  


“You’re telling me you’re visiting for a week and only brought a backpack?”.

  
  


“My parents place isn’t too far from here, fifteen minutes tops. I’ll just get a change of clothes over there. No biggie.” He waves her off, then turning to flop onto the couch, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table, now reaching for the TV remote. 

  
  


Beverly proceeds to roll her eyes, not bothering with any lecture as she put her things into her bag. Then picking up Richie’s and setting it down next to him as she leans over from the back of the couch, only inches away from his face. “You’ll take the guest room, down the hall remember?” She continued to stare as she waited for Richie’s response, who was now seemingly too interested in the documentary playing on the TV to give out a proper response other than a grunt. 

  
  


She turned around letting it go, finding the patience after he’d told her that he’d finally been diagnosed with ADHD only recently. 

  
  


Beverly began walking over to the tiny, round dining room table fetching for her purse. “Okay, well I see you’re all settled in so I’ll see you in a couple hours.” Swiftly spinning on her heels, turning to leave.

  
  


“Wait, where you going I just got here?” Richie snapped his head toward her, seeming to have caught his attention this time.

  
  


“I’m picking Ben up from the airport. He just texted me, he was out in Nevada for a few days.” She says fast and dismissively as if he should have already known.

  
  


“Wait? Hold up, Ben’s here?” Now he was lost.

  
  


Beverly just turns tight lipped, barely glancing back at him while nodding. “Mhm.” Reaching for the doorknob to get out.

  
  


“Bev is there something you want to tell me?” He says standing up from where he was sitting, rounding the couch to stand directly behind her. Looking at her straight faced, waiting for an explanation.

  
  


He sees her shoulders slump as she lets out an exasperated sigh, turning around with closed eyes and her hands up defensively. “Look Richie don’t be mad–“ She starts out slow.

  
  


“Bev you said to come out here and visit you. Since when did that include Ben?” Richie hadn’t exactly departed from Derry on great terms with all the losers. Only regularly keeping in touch with Beverly, and Stan. If one counted liking the pictures he rarely uploaded onto Instagram as _ “keeping in touch” _. 

  
  


“Okay look, let’s just take a breather, you just got here let’s not fight.” 

  
  


Richie let out a humorless laugh, throwing his hands up into the air as he turned from Beverly, trying to find his patience. 

  
  


It wasn’t so much as anger from being opposed to seeing Ben again, but rather being lied to. Richie didn’t even have anything to be mad at Ben about, mostly just the awkwardness that came from the complicated stance they’d all left on. 

  
  


“Ben’s my boyfriend Richie you know this. Of course he’s going to want to come out and visit me as soon as he can.” She says desperately trying to elicit some form of understanding.

  
  


“Bev I know that. Don’t you think I know that? It’s just, I only came out here because I’d thought it was only going to be you. It only being you is so much easier than having to deal with the others here as well. You know what happened back then,” A humorless laugh escaped his lungs as he closed eyes, “I think we all remember what happened back then.” 

  
  


Beverly winces, knowing very well how much Richie hated bringing it up. “I know, I know, Richie. I know, trust me, but it’s been six years. We were a team back then, the seven of us. We were the losers…a family.” She says, voice soft. Beverly rests a comforting hand onto Richie’s slumped shoulder, as he sat on the arm of the couch: staring down at his feet, fidgeting with the loose thread at the end of his shirt.

  
  


After a beat of silence he responds while sharply inhaling. “Okay,” he says defeated, “Okay fine, I’m okay. It’s just Ben, just good ole Benny boy. Come to think of it I miss Haystack, it’s been a good while since I’ve last seen him.” He says directing a small reassuring smile at Beverly. 

She then breaks out into an encouraging grin, smacking him on the back, immediately making him jerk off the couch and straighten up. “See now that’s the spirit. Hurry up come with me, I’m sure he wants to see you when he gets off the plane, maybe even more so than me.” 

  
  


Richie lolls his head with a chuckle. “Imposible Beverly that man is head over heels in love with you, never seen anyone so lovesick. It’s like you hung the moon.” 

  
  


“Oh shut up.” She laughs, shaking her keys. “Come on, let's get on the road.” Then they set off for the airport.

* * *

They were ten minutes away at this point and chatting all the way there. Richie could never keep quiet in general, but when he was nervous it multiplied by tenfold. 

  
  


“Richie you’re gonna be fine. Ben hasn’t kept a grudge against you. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this.”

  
  


“Bev I yelled at you guys, had a meltdown and left before graduation without saying a word. I’m full on expecting the cold shoulder.”

  
  


“First of all, you were pretty clear that you wanted to book it as soon as possible for a few years at that point, so there was no surprise there. Second of all, this is Ben we’re talking about. He couldn’t hold a grudge even if he wanted to, and most importantly, none of us are mad. Sure the whole situation was really upsetting at the time, but once you left, and after a while had passed we realized why you did what you did. Whether it was handled properly or not, doesn’t matter because we were all kids at the end of the day. We were all fucked up one way or another. None of us were qualified enough to handle that situation properly.

  
Also no offense but looking back on it now we were all way too codependent on one another. Like some weird relationship, where we’d all get into each other’s business and make it about ourselves. You leaving really pushed us to see that we weren’t going to stay together forever and it was the shove we needed to part ways and discover ourselves.” 

  
  


Richie sharply inhaled as he closed his eyes, repeating the meditation technique his therapist advised for him if he ever felt his anxiety rise. “You’re right. Right?” Richie asks turning toward Beverly for reassurance. Then quickly shaking his head and shifting back to look straight ahead. “Nope I’m just gonna go by what you said and believe you’re right.”

  
  


Beverly tightened her grip on the steering wheel as she smiled patiently. “Good, now let's take a breather before Ben gets here I don’t want this making him anxious either. He absorbs everyone’s emotions like crazy. I swear I’ve never met anyone quite as empathetic.”

  
  


Richie blows out a light laugh. “Yeah I remember. Almost cried himself to death when he hit that deer.” He says in return, punching a chortle out of Beverly, making them both laugh. 

  
  


“Oh yes nothing better than laughing at my boyfriend’s trauma with my best friend.” 

  
  


“Okay now saying it like that just sounds fucked up Bev. But tell me how’s it going in paradise?”

  
  


“Oh shut up Richie,” she bites out with a giggle, ”It's been good, y’know? Like I never thought a relationship could make me feel this good and be this simple.” Richie could hear the smile in her words, igniting a warmth within him, he was happy for her. 

  
  


“Y’know after all that happened with Tom,” She continued before pausing—gathering herself. His eyes giving her enough assurance to continue, “I guess things were just really complicated for a while with him that I formed a skewed perception on things for a bit, but then Ben came along and things just made sense.” 

  
  


Richie tilted his head as he warmly glanced at her. “Ben loves you like crazy y’know? I’m surprised it took you guys so long to get together, and thank god you didn’t wait for him to make the first move. Ben would have never had the balls to do it.”

  
  


Beverly barked out a laugh. “You should have seen him when I kissed him after our first date. Poor boy thought I’d asked him out to some rollerblading rink as friends. Like shit how much more obvious can I be? Why would I voluntarily go to one if not to just continue with the cliche of modern romance?”

  
  


Her phone suddenly began to ring, The name _ Ben 💕 _ showing up on the bright screen as she reached down to answer. 

  
  


“Wow thee Beverly Marsh being a delinquent? Thought you had changed by now that you’ve hit high fashion.” He tisks.

  
  


“Shush,” She zips at him, pressing the phone to her ear. “Ben baby, I’m on my way -- Aha! I’m actually right outside let me park. Yes that's me, red car. Oh.. oh okay, um,” she takes a pause, nervously glancing at Richie, “yeah no problem. I’ll see you, okay bye.” Hanging up immediately and turning to him, her expression apologetic.

  
  


His face immediately dropped. “What? What did you do?”

  
  


She begins to shush him, hands attempting to pat him down before he started getting too animated. 

  
  


“Look okay, I just want to preface this by saying that I did not have anything to do with this. I would not do that to you. Okay? Okay. But there’s just a teeny tiny problem… 

Ben ran into Mike coincidentally and mentioned there was a _ ‘get together’ _going on and that he could tag along.” She says all in one breath, stopping to breathe. “Y’know how Mike is? Always said he wanted to travel, has been doing exactly that by the way, don’t know how he gets the money to do it all, but all power to him. Anyways, please don’t freak out, this was just purely a coincidental disaster.”

  
  


Richie stayed eerily quiet for a while, which to Beverly seemed somehow worse. Closing his eyes to inhale and exhale...slowly.

  
  


“Richie–“

  
  


He quickly brought his index finger up to interrupt her as he continued with his breathing. “Okay I’m good,” He finally said after a moment. “I was just on the verge of an anxiety attack but I’m all good now.” 

  
  


“Look Richie we can figure something out, I can–“

  
  


“No Bev don’t.” Not sounding quite as convincing as he would have hoped. “The past couple of years haven’t gone as I’d had imagined. I’ve missed you all so much, I’ve missed– “ He stops himself before he said more than he wanted. “I need to move on.” He finishes, voice hoarse.

  
  


Beverly continued to stare at him as she gripped his hands reassuringly

  
  


Then suddenly they’re snapped out of their trance at the loud calls from outside the car. Looking up, Richie could see Ben walking towards them with his carry on and suitcase rolling behind him, as he wore a big grin on his face. Still just as built as he’d remembered, but with a beard now. Alongside him, just a few feet behind was Mike, much taller, looking more mature, but still just as athletic as he’d last seen him. Only just a little more rugged now like Richie. Walking with a backpack slung over his shoulder and carry on to his side.

  
  


God how Richie had missed them both. Slowly a meek smile spread over his face. 

  
  


At the sight, Beverly broke out into a grin. Stepping out of the car to jog up to Ben only just a few feet away now, greeting him with a kiss.

  
  


Seeing their display of affection always gave a painful tug to his heart. Happy for them, but still bitterly so.

  
  


He could make out how Beverly was whispering to the taller man. Ben leaning down to get closer, her hands cradling his face, tender smiles shared all the while.

Richie cleared his throat, shifting a bit, suddenly the seat belt felt too tight. 

  
  


Mike looked over the couple, spotting Richie in the passenger’s seat. Even as Richie looked away, his peripheral could make out as Mike’s figure started getting closer.

  
  


“Richie? My god, Richie it's been so long.” Mike happily called out, wearing a genuinely sweet smile. 

  
  


Richie cleared his throat to then give half a nod and wave. He exhaled as he unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door. Stepping out of the passenger’s seat, with a smile, feeling the ache of having not seen them in so long. 

  
  


“Mike my man! Come here let me get a good look at you.” Now wearing a big grin, always having been talented at playing characters after all. 

  
  


Mike walked up to the car, stepping closer while being weighed down by his luggage. Then dropping it to the ground, a few inches away from Richie as he opened his arms wide and wrapped him whole, patting his back very fatherly. “Richie, it’s been too long.” 

  
  


All Richie could do was tensely stand still, letting Mike get his bit in, warily placing a hand onto Mike’s back as well, gently. Then pulling back to talk. “It sure has, how’ve you been? Heard you’re still traveling on the road like some hippie.” 

  
  


Mike barked out a laugh. “I’ve missed you.” Now stepping back to take a good look at Richie. “I see you’ve gotten rid of the glasses, though you’re still rocking the shaggy hair.” 

  
  


Ben and Beverly walk in between, with an arm wrapped around her. “So I’ll be, is this really thee Richie ‘Trashmouth’ Tozier?” The brunette says as he wears a dumb grin. 

  
  


“Haystack!” Richie all but jumps onto the man as he catches him on time like they’d done back in high school when Richie had still been a twig. 

  
  


Ben let out a huff as he set Richie down, “Geez Richie, you sure put on a few pounds since the last time I saw you.”

  
  


“Body shaming now are we? I expected more from you pretty boy.” 

  
  


Ben let out a breathy laugh as he shook his head. “Haven’t changed much have you?” 

  
  


“Never. Now let’s get on the road. Back to Debbie’s! Let’s not let her food go to waste.”

  
  


“Yeah right, if your appetite is anything like it was back then, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” Mike retorts.

  
  


“Someone’s always got something to say. Trashing the Trashmouth as usual.” They all laughed, Richie then helped put away their luggage into the trunk. Soon driving off.

* * *

“Fuck off that’s not how I remember it.” 

  
  


Beverly sharply turns around in her seat. “Oh really? How could you? You were black out drunk.” She says laughing, flipping back around to face forward. 

  
  


Eliciting a group laugh between the three, as Richie pouts. “Can we not talk about all the stupid shit I’ve done while fucked up on Bill’s liquor.”

  
  


“Dude, that's all you ever did, anytime we stole any of it you couldn’t handle yourself.” Mike remarks.

  
  


“Okay, and? I'm still pretty sure I was also the one to punch that asshole in the face for you back at Anderson’s party. Let’s focus on the positive.”

  
  


“Weren’t you the one that spilled the drink on him?” Ben replied as he glanced back at Richie through the rear view mirror.

  
  


“Eh! No diminishing my feats, this is a Richie hater free zone.”

  
  


“Fuck off,” Beverly says with no real bite behind it. 

  
  
  
  


They’re then pulling up to Beverly’s aunt’s house. Ben parks alongside the sidewalk, as all of them get out just as Debbie does. 

  
  


“Oh is that Mike and Ben I see?” She began scurrying toward the group, not bothering to close the door behind her before pulling both men into a tight hug. “It’s so good to see you two. Come on, let’s get inside, the sandwiches are ready.” She sharply turns around, leading them as she continued to ramble aloud. “I really was just expecting only two guests, but luckily I always make extra just in case. Also give the pie about twenty more minutes.”

  
  


Stepping in, she tells them to put their bags down and sit. The table barely fitting all five of them. Debbie then began setting down the plates and glasses filled with lemonade.

  
  


“Okay so the pie’ll be ready in a few.” She mentions distractedly, setting everything down. “Oh and Ben, I made you a caprese salad as well. I know how much you like it when I do.” She adds before setting off towards the kitchen to get the rest of the meal. 

  
  


“Thank you Debbie.” Ben calls out from where he’s sitting, then turning to Richie. “So I've heard you’ve been out in LA, any plans about visiting or moving out to east coast anytime soon?” Ben asks as he takes a sip of his drink.

  
  


Richie visibly tenses, making Beverly glance at him with worry. He cleared his throat, feeling a lump forming. “Uh no not anytime soon… I’m just um, comfortable right now you know? I’ve got my career set up in LA, and it’s been good.”

  
  


Mike nods along with Ben, then clearing his throat to speak up. “Well it’s been a good few years Rich, you've been seeing anyone lately?” He asked with a teasing brow, trying to lighten the mood.

  
  


Richie perks up at this, the topic feeling much more distant. “Actually yeah, his name’s Sam. It’s been good, we’ve been together for almost two years now.” He responds with a smile. It was good, they met one night after a gig for his standup at one of the local bars. He was nice, his parents liked him, so it seemed. It was comfortable. Richie if he could help it, would preferably be in a stable relationship. That was just his style, as he came to find out. He’d tried the whole bachelor thing, and while it had been fun for a little bit, he got lonely. Then Sam came along and that was good, it felt good.

  
  


“Oh okay, so when do we get to meet him?” Beverly joins in, a warm smile spread across her face. Richie was fully aware at that moment just how much they’d both been through together, and probably how amazing this was for her to hear. After all the heartbreak he’d gone through in the past, leaving her worried for a while.

  
  


Richie knew the question was innocent, but it still didn’t do much to relieve the stress that came along with it. Richie for the longest time wasn’t even sure if he wanted to reconnect with the losers, and now all of a sudden he had to introduce both separate lives he’d built. “Um I’m not sure he’s pretty busy. Maybe one of these days when we can all get together, y’know the four of us.” He responded as he traced the rim of his glass. 

  
  


Then as if on cue, Debbie tramps in. Balancing a plate filled with sandwiches on one hand. “Now what is it we’re talking about here?” 

  
  


“Nothing much, just about how Richie’s got himself a boyfriend back in LA.” The redhead razzes.

  
  


“Oh? Is that right, well a nice boy I hope.” Debbie responds as she places the food onto Richie’s plate.

  
  


“Why? Don’t think I can handle myself a Wade Walker?” 

  
  


“No, I don't. You need yourself a Lloyd Dobler.” She punctuates with a jab to his chest.

  
  


“Who’s Lloyd Dobler?” Mike chirps in.

  
  


Richie just waves him off, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Don’t worry about it, just some white people movie.” He spits with a mouth full, getting a napkin thrown at his face by a disgusted Beverly as a result.

  
  


Debbie then walks over to Mike, placing food onto his plate.“Oh we can watch it together! I think I might even have some popcorn left in the pantry.” She mentions before mindlessly wandering off into the kitchen, leaving them staring. 

  
  


Beverly just shook her head dismissively. “Well good luck Mike, Aunt Debbie’s a sucker for a good rom-com.” 

  
  


“I think you’re underestimating me Marsh, rom-coms were made for binging.” 

  
  


“Wow i really was right when I said you’d clean up nicely with all the grandmas.” Richie jests, before dodging a piece of bread Mike flicks to his face.

  
  


“Okay, c’mon guys. Mike tell us about how you’ve been. I haven’t seen you in months.” Beverly steers, trying to quiet them down. 

  
  


Mike shrugs. “I’ve been doing good. Traveling through Arizona for a while, you’ve seen the pictures in the group chat.”

  
  


Beverly shifts, now seemingly uncomfortable. Richie could sense the tightness in the air. It’s not like he hadn’t expected them to still be good friends. But now he really understood just how drifted he’d become from the group. He wondered if they all got together annually and what they did.

  
  


Whenever he did talk to Beverly over the phone, he was sure to make it a clear point not to bring up certain things or certain people.

  
  


“Guys it’s fine. I get it, you’re all still friends. It’s not weird that you have a group chat I’m not in. I haven’t exactly reached out since I left.” He tries to clear the air. 

  
  


“Rich, we’d totally love to add you. It’s not the same without the seven of us.” Ben mentions with a warm smile. 

  
  


Richie would be lying if he said there wasn’t a voice screaming in his head, telling him _ No _. He tried to listen to that voice more often ever since leaving Derry, but right then it seemed as though the innate nature of his thoughts were fogging his judgment. The curiosity he had in reconnecting with all the losers, along with a certain past pain was all but domineering.

  
  


“Yeah actually I think that’d be cool.” He returns not sounding quite as unbothered as he’d hoped, ignoring Bev’s wary glance. 

  
  


All of this had seemed much bigger back then, but now he was more sure than ever that this was getting pass the point of ridiculous. He needed this; to stop running. 

  
  


Then suddenly Debbie marched in, “Where’s Lucy?” She said, worried tone managing to grab their attention. “I haven’t seen that little lady since this morning.” She began to look under the table.

  
  


“Aunt Debbie she was just outside next to the potted plants. I just saw her.” Beverly adds after swallowing the food in her mouth.

  
  


“I need to give her the allergy medication the vet prescribed.” Debbie’s eyebrows were furrowed in concern before turned back towards the yard.

  
  


Lucy was the thirteen year old cat they’d adopted a couple years back. She was a feisty old thing, but had somehow taken a liking to Richie, puzzling all the losers.

  
  


“Shit that cat’s still alive?” Richie fakes astonishment causing Beverly to shove him.

  
  


“I’ve actually been thinking about adopting a cat.” Mike mentions offhandedly as he wipes his face with a napkin.

  
  


“Aren’t you traveling all the time?” Richie asks puzzled.

  
  


“I actually saw this video on YouTube recently where a man backpacked through Europe with this cat he came across.”

  
  


“Oh to be a cat backpacking through Europe with an estranged man. Easy way to score a lay with the ladies, right Mike?” He commends. Earning himself an unimpressed look from all three. 

  
  


“Well it’s still just a thought, traveling alone can feel a bit isolating. The company would be nice.”

  
  


“Mike just come visit me out in LA if you ever feel lonely. The door is always open for any fellow loser.”

  
  


“I actually haven’t visited California yet, weirdly enough. I’ve been meaning to check out the sites. Yosemite park is still on my list so I just might.”

  
  


“Plus! We’ve got Disneyland.”

  
  


“Disney world looks better.” Ben retorts.

  
  


“Yeah, that's if you’re a pretentious snob. This is the one Walt Disney poured his heart and soul into.” He dramatizes with a jab to the table.

  
  


“Sounding a little pretentious there Rich,” Beverly sing-songs.

  
  


“You sure LA hasn’t gotten to your head yet Richie?” Ben joins in.

  
  


“It’s Richie, if anything I fear as to what has come out of his presence back in LA, those poor souls.” She quips falsely alarmed. Earning herself a shove from Richie with no real force behind it, as he passes by her on his way to the sink.

  
  


Richie let out a yawn after rinsing his dish. “Well guys this has been a blast, but I’m off to bed for my afternoon nap.” 

  
  


“It’s barely 3:30 and wait, did you just say afternoon nap, what are you a toddler?”

  
  


“No Beverly. This is classified as me time, I’m a freelancing comedian. It’s called self care. Maybe you’d like to look into it sometime, m’sure it ’d do you some good.” Yawning all the while, “Now if anyone needs me, don’t.” Proceeding to turn on his heels to take off down the hall.

  
  
  
  


As he’s almost through the entrance Mike catches up to him. “Hey Rich can I talk to you for a minute?” 

  
  


“Yeah man what's up?”

  
  


He takes a moment to continue.“Listen i didn’t want to put you on the spot by bringing this up in front of the others, but I still feel like you should know.” He whispers. “But Stan messaged me saying that Eddie’s gonna be in town visiting his mom for a few days, and I–“

  
  


“Why would that bother me? Why’d you think that’d be a problem?” Richie rushes out, voice cracking.

  
  


“Rich, c’mon man, I know we have this unspoken rule of not bringing it up, but--,” he sighs, “we know what went down between you two, we all do.” Mike continues speaking before Richie has the chance to respond. “And look, none of us are bothered by it. I know you feel guilty about what went down, but looking back on it now we didn’t have any right to get in between your guys’ problems, it was something we should have known to back off on. And I’m sorry.”

  
  


Richie just sighs, closing his eyes. He knew Mike hadn’t done anything wrong back then. Richie’d just been so frustrated that he’d let his anger take over. But Mike being the sweetheart that he was, didn’t see it that way. “Mike, no don’t apologize. I let my emotions get out of control with what happened,” he pauses, “that was all on me Mike. It was on me.”

  
  


The taller man brings him in for a tight hug. “Talk to Stan, he’s been asking about you.” 

  
  


“Really? And here I thought he’d finally gotten what he wished for—peace and quiet from my absence.”

  
  


Mike pulls away. “Stan is always annoyed, but at least you still managed to amuse him. That’s more than most.”

  
  


Richie chuckled tiredy. “I’ll take the floor, you can take the bed.”

  
  


“Rich the bed is big enough for the both of us.”

  
  


“Are you trying to make a move on me Mikey? I’m sorry but I cherish our friendship too much. It wouldn’t be right.”

  
  


“I’m good bud, but just take the bed. I kinda came here unexpectedly anyways.”

  
  


“Mike just share the bed with me alright? I know you wanna snuggle, and also this place doesn’t have a heater so it’s gonna probably feel like my balls’ve got frostbite.”

  
  


“Eloquent as always, huh Trashmouth?”

  
  


“Hey the nickname ain’t for nothing.”

  
  


Mike begins to step backwards, both turning to leave before making a noise; grabbing Richie’s attention with a smile, “Rich, seriously if you ever need to talk-- I’m here, always.”

  
  


“Thanks man.” He responds tight lipped, his chest tightening with emotion before closing the door behind him. 

  
  


He let out a sigh, dragging his hands down his face. He really needed this nap, the entire day had been much more emotionally exhausting than he had anticipated. 

* * *

When he woke up all he could see was the shadow of darkness that casted throughout the room. The moonlight illuminating only bits of what he could make out as it passed from the open window. 

  
  


Suddenly Richie realized that he’d slept with his contacts in as he felt the soreness in his eyes, continuing to rub at them as he stretched; feeling heavy headed. Getting goosebumps from the chill of the breeze that passed through, waking him from his haze.

  
  


Richie walked toward the window to close it before pulling out his cell phone from his back pocket to check the time, reading 8:40. Richie’s eyebrows shot up, seeing how he’d managed to sleep through a total of five hours.

  
  


Then Richie yawned as he opened the eight unread messages on his phone. 

  
  
  
  
  


**[Ringwald]:** ** **

_ 5:40 PM  _

_Rchi just know me n Ben went out for some food if u happen to wake up _

_ 5:41 PM _

_*Richie_

_ 5:41 PM _

_Actually I’m just gonna start abbreviating ur name like that_

_  
6:21 PM _

_Shit! Bill just told me he was coming to visit Eddie’s mom with him_

_  
6:57 PM _

_Text back!!!_

_ 7:17 PM _

_Mike said he told u already. But still message me when u wake up! _

_ 8:25 PM _

_UR ASS IS STILL ASLEEP!??? _

  
_ 8:32 PM _

_K I’m going out to buy cereal. I’ll be back. if u even wake up soon_

**[Rchi]:**

_ 8:42 PM _

_Just woke up _

_ 8:43 PM _

_also how much shorter can my name get?_

  
  
Richie flopped back down onto the bed as he groaned. He was tired of this trip already, counting down until the day he could book his flight out to LA and have this be a terrible distant memory. He knew Beverly was only being a worried friend, that’s just how she was — attentive. But he really didn’t want to deal with it, much less talk about it. Hopefully he could manage to avoid them both while he stayed over at Beverly’s.

  
  


Suddenly the notification for low battery popped up onto his screen, realizing his phone was barely at fifteen percent. He began to look around for his backpack before remembering that it was still outside in the living room.

  
  


As he creeped out of the bedroom, he caught flashes of light illuminating the dark house just down the hall. Richie could make out that it was the TV as he heard voices from a movie playing. Now walking toward it, he turned his head as he peeked from the edge of the wall. 

  
  


Mike then met his eyes from where he was sitting, directing a smile at him. “Richie, you’re awake.”

  
  


Debbie promptly turned around from her seat to face him, “Oh honey come sit with us. We were just watching as Richard Gear gives Julia Roberts the necklace to wear on their date.” She waves him forward. 

  
  


“No can do, need to charge my phone, or else I’d love to watch Julia Roberts scam some old turd out of his money.” He picks his bag up from where it's on the couch.

  
  


“Well okay, just plug it into the outlet and come back out. I’ve got some homemade cinnamon buns in the oven.” Debbie then picks up a dvd, now looking at Mike. “Oh we can watch _ When Harry met Sally _ next!” 

  
  


Richie shut the door behind him, their voices becoming muffled and distant. Then placed his backpack onto the bed, unzipping it as he proceeded to dig through looking for his charger. He dumped his stuff across the bed spread, picking things out as he searched.

  
  


As he did, he mindlessly picked up an old flattened leather wallet that’s almost in pieces. Suddenly stopping all movement as he continued to stare—now feeling heavy in his hand. 

  
  


He goes back and forth for a few seconds deciding whether or not he should open it. Then doing so without much thought before he lost the nerve. Inside was a picture, faded and ripped from the edges. One that he remembers taking vividly that day, it was the summer before his freshman year of high school. They had been down at the quarry with it being one of the hotter days of that summer. They’d all decided to go for a swim, with Beverly remembering to bring her disposable camera.

  
  


In the picture he was sitting by the bank, in only his boxers as he smiled at the camera while Beverly took the photo. The picture brought an ache to his chest as his breathing slowed down, eyes threatening to sting. 

  
  


In the picture he had his arm wrapped around Eddie’s smaller, pudgier frame. That summer being when he had hit a major growth spurt, ending up at almost a foot taller than the younger boy beside him. He remembered being all bones back then. As well as the sun burn he had earned. 

  
  


As he stared at the photo he could feel as it was happening in real time. Feeling queasy in a way in which he didn’t quite understand just yet. The warmth he felt as he wrapped an arm around the warm body next to him. Unknowingly admiring the tan the younger brunette gained from hours spent outside that break. The desire to run his fingers through the soft hair as it dried, watching it curl around his neck. 

  
  


Richie ignored the horribly familiar queasy feeling spreading throughout his body as he put away the photo. He’d carried it around with him for years, then slowly accepted that he needed to let go, but even though he never checked for it, he still always brought the wallet along with him. 

  
  


He then soon left his phone behind to charge, stepping into the living room with Mike and Debbie, who were seemingly caught up in sniffling at the opera scene. 

  
  


“It’s so true Mike, you either love the opera or you don’t.” Debbie rambled out.

  
  


“Uhh I’m not interrupting something am I?”

  
  


“Oh Richie dear, come sit. Do you know how beautiful opera is? Y’know as a little girl my grandmother played it all around the house. The pieces of Italian she taught me helped me understand just a bit, but it was so much more than language, it was passion.” She dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.

  
  


Richie just stared at Mike puzzled, getting a shrug in return. His eyes sharply skimmed the place, spotting the opened bottle of red wine, which explained it.

  
  


“Yes Debbie I do know.”

  
  


“You know what would make this night even better? Red wine floats!” She got up as she took her bottle with her. “Do you kids want any?”

  
  


“No thanks Debbie, I’ve got to lay off the drinks for a while.” Richie declined.

  
  


“I’m not doing anything tomorrow, why not?”

  
  


“That’s the spirit Mikey! I’ll get us started.” Then shimmying to the fridge. Leaving them both holding back a laugh as they stared at one another.

  
  


“Wow, let me know when I can get you to go out with my mom. She’s been looking for a new drinking buddy.” 

  
  


“Oh Shut up Tozier.” Mike bit back a giggle, seeming a bit tipsy himself. 

  
  


Right then Beverly walked on in with a bag full of groceries, setting them down. “Hello nerds. I brought us some weed.”

  
  


“And here I thought you just went out for some cereal?” Richie smirked.

  
  


“Oh you know me always multitasking.” 

  
  


“Where’s Ben?” Mike piped in.

  
  


“Oh he’s um, visiting his mom.” She said, not meeting either of their eyes. Having known her for so long he was able to pick up on any unsteadiness, but Riche was too tired to pry any further.

  
  


“Well he’s fucked then. I’m going to get high with or without him, so hand it over Shirley Temple.”

  
  


“Oh screw you Richie.”

  
  


“I’ll be with you guys in a bit. I’m kinda waiting for my red wine floats, also this Edward Lewis character better wrap it up. Vivian doesn’t deserve his indecisiveness.”

  
  


“Enough said there Mikey, I’ll keep that in mind when I’ve got Gary Marshall cornered at some party back in LA.”

  
  


“Well if you two ladies are done I’m gonna be in the car. Hurry it up.” 

  
  


“Right there with you Marsh.” Richie picked his coat up from the rack as he walked out right behind Beverly.

  
  


His face instantly became numb from the chill in the air. It was still early March, spring slowly warming the weather but the night’s were still achingly cold.

  
  


Richie snapped the passenger door open and slipped on in. He proceeded to puff warm breaths of air into his palms as he rubbed them, attempting to warm himself up. 

  
  


“This here’ll warm you up in no time you big baby.” 

  
  


“Fuck you Beverly. I’m not the one who stuck around in this meat freezer of a town. I was out in the sunny hills of Los Ángeles. We wear jackets out in 70 degree weather for fuck sake.”

  
  


“I live in New York dipshit, maybe you’d remember that if you came out to visit me once in a while.” Richie felt the vibe shift, sitting back for what felt like an oncoming lecture.

  
  


“Beverly, you and I both know I don’t have the funds for that.”

  
  


“Bullshit, maybe a year ago. But I’ve offered to fly you out plenty of times before that as well.”

  
  


“Bev you know I don’t want you spending your money on me.”

  
  


“Rich you won’t even let me visit you out in LA. What’s the big deal?”

  
  


“What do you mean? We saw each other that other summer,” Richie rushed out as he was in the middle of thinking. Snapping his fingers suddenly, “We were both in Chicago.”

  
  


“Richie that’s the problem. It seems like you only ever want to see each other every couple of years, and not even in our own homes! I was staying out there for a show around that time, not to mention you were doing comedy clubs most of the time. We were both so busy. And what? We got lunch maybe like twice back then? You know I want to be around for much more than that.”

  
  


“Beverly I’m here aren’t I? How else can I show you that I care? What do you want from me?” He exclaimed frustrated.

  
  


“I just want to know that I don’t have to hunt down where you’re staying to threaten you to visit.” Her voice broke as she began to tear up.

  
  


Richie instantly felt like shit, the last thing he’d ever want to do is make Beverly upset. He wrapped his arms around her as a few tears slipped. His voice came out soothing and low. “Beverly i care. I do. It’s just been hard ever since I’ve left. And you know I owe you everything for keeping me in your life after all these years. Which still confuses the fuck out of me.” Richie let out a strained laugh. “You’ve met and had lunch with Alessandro Michele for fuck’s sake.”

  
  


Beverly let out a wet laugh as she pulled back, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve. Richie took out a napkin from his pocket making her giggle. “Of course you’d have crumpled napkins on you.”

  
  


“Come on let’s light this bad boy. We’re already crying and still sober.”

  
  


“Yeah, you usually start busting out the water works after a few hits.” 

  
  


“Piss off Marsh, I’m an empathetic man.” He smiled as he got the usual bitten back smile from the redhead.

  
  


“Yeah well let’s get high I don’t need to be freezing my nonexistent balls off any further.”

  
  


Beverly then pulled out her lighter and took a hit before passing it to Richie. They went back and forth for a bit, engulfed in a peaceful silence. 

  
  


After a while Beverly spoke up again. “So Sam huh? How’s it been going for you two? You haven’t mentioned him for a while.”

  
  


Richie’s brows were pinched as he inhaled, then passed it to Beverly. “Uh there isn’t much to say honestly. We’re cool.” 

  
  


“Cool? The fuck does that mean? Rich, you’ve been together how long? Like almost two years and all you have to update me on is that _ ‘you’re cool’ _?”

  
  


“Fuck Bev what do you want me to say? ‘I’m planning our wedding and I’m gonna propose on our anniversary, can you please be my best man’?”

  
  


Her eyes widened as her brows shot up. “My god are you?” 

  
  


“What? Jesus Bev no of course not. I was being sarcastic.” 

  
  


“What, why are acting like what you just said would that ridiculous of an idea? You’ve been together for a couple of years, I mean I don’t know.”

  
  


Richie shook his head as he took a hit. “I’m good, I don’t need to be messing around with my relationship like that anytime soon.”

  
  


“Richie, Sam seems like a good guy. I don’t have a problem with him y’know? He’s been nothing but sweet throughout those Skype calls. He’d make a great addition to the team.” She offered a smile.

  
  


“Bev while I thank you for your support I’m not getting married. It was a joke.”

  
  


She brought her hands up defensively. “Hey i wasn’t the one who brought it up.”

  
  


Right then the back door opened as Mike slipped in. “I’m not too late am I?”

  
  


“Nah we’ve been doing more talking than smoking honestly.” Richie passed the joint over his shoulder, handing it to Mike.

  
  


Mike brought it up to his lips, inhaling. “Gossip?”

  
  


Beverly giggled. “No not Richie. My man’s a saint.”

  
  


“Okay well Beverly just because I don’t have a coworker named Jonathan who’s fucking his wife’s yoga teacher doesn’t mean I’m a poser.” Beverly then began to wrestle with Richie as he laughed.

  
  


“Fuck you! I’m not saying shit to you again.”

  
  


“Wait Jonathan from marketing?” Mike asks passing the joint to Beverly.

  
  


“Yep. You met him last spring I think? At the baby shower.”

  
  


“Why the fuck were you two at a baby shower?” 

  
  


“Well Richie maybe you’d have gone too if you were in New York around my birthday.”

  
  


“Unfair Bev, I sent you a text, letter and present.” He then shifted to face Beverly. “Actually, how’s the coffee taste in the new Keurig I got you?”

  
  


“Refreshing.” She all but mumbles out.

  
  


“Exactly.”

  
  


“I can see how there’s been more talking than smoking going on now.”

* * *

After they’d finished, Richie got into the shower—boiling hot. He could see his reddened skin and matted dark body hair in the mirror’s misty reflection. His hair curled just a bit as it began to dry. Already haven taken his contacts out, Richie dug into his bag, pulling out his glasses and placing them onto his face.

  
  


He hated seeing himself in them more than ever now, reminding him too much of the old Richie he’d left behind in Derry.

  
  


Richie then finished brushing his teeth, now putting on his boxers along with a worn out band tee before stepping out. 

  
  


The bedroom door creaked as he slowly opened it. The light from the hallway hitting Mike’s figure under the covers. Richie closed the door behind him, blindly paddling down the room toward the bed. Slipping under the blankets, with their backs facing each other.

  
  


Richie took off his glasses and placed them onto the night stand beside him. He then closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He was zoned out after a few minutes, seeming to be more exhausted than he’d imagined. 

  
  


As the warmth from both the figure and blankets engulfed him, his mind drifted off into a haze, slowly blacking out. Before a forced cough broke him out of his trance.

  
  


“Hey Richie? Sorry if you were asleep dude but I just wanted to say that,” Mike exhaled, lowering his voice, becoming more steady. “you can count on me if you need anything. I know you’ve made peace with the past but I’m still just a bit hung up about it. And no it has nothing to do with you or how you’ve come across.” He let out a breathy laugh, “You’re still very much the same old Trashmouth I remember. It’s just, and I know you hate to bring it up, but even if you were upset that day, I still feel like I wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have jumped on your case. You were hurting inside and I wasn’t there for you. None of us were, well except for Bev, but she’s perfect so I shouldn’t be surprised there.”

  
  


Richie continued to stare forward, eyes trained on an unintelligible figure—feeling his throat tighten from emotion. He had completely left and cut ties with the losers, imagining it for good. Richie loved all of them, he’d hurt badly throughout that period, in more ways than one, but something he just couldn’t shake off was the ache from leaving his family—the losers. 

  
  


He turned around, coming face to face with Mike. He hadn’t noticed when the other man did the same, but all he could whisper was a “Thank you.” Receiving a warm smile in return. 

  
  


“Come on let’s go to sleep.”

  
  
  
  
  


When Richie woke up, he was sprawled out across the bed, face down against the pillow. As he opened his eyes he immediately squinted from the sunlight streaming in through the open window, the chirping from the birds outside keeping him from falling back to sleep. He then stretched and yawned before bothering to check the time on his phone. Not a minute later he sat up, leaning over to grab his glasses before reading 10:37 on his screen. Richie hadn’t slept this consecutively in a long time, and for good reason. That wasn’t a time he ever wanted to revisit again. 

  
  
  


Richie could now over hear the ruckus from the kitchen. Assuming it was just Debbie making breakfast for the day, he got up and walked toward the door to go to see if she wanted any help. He had done so, many times during highschool when he stayed over. He then stepped out and into the bathroom to brush his teeth, as well as splashing some water over his face during the process. While still a bit groggy even after, at least he was awake.

  
  


As he began walking down the hallway, toward the kitchen the voices started getting clearer. Richie came to a complete stop as he walked in. Sitting right there, only ten feet away was Eddie, and just a foot away was Bill. He felt as if he froze in time, eyes widening just a bit. That being all he could muster from his shock. He had naively expected to see neither of them all throughout his stay, having assumed that they would go out of their way to avoid him. But that seemed to not be the case.

  
  


As he continued to stare he couldn’t help but observe how different they both looked. Bill appeared sturdier, no longer as thin as he had once been. His hair combed back stylishly as he looked right at him.

  
  


While Eddie--_ wow-- _had changed so much since he’d last seen him. His face no longer as chubby as once before, seeming to have shed off almost all his baby fat. His hair was neatly coiffed, looking over all put together. Richie couldn't help but tell how his long lashes feathered against his cheeks as the brunette continued to look down at the table, notably being just as beautiful as ever.

  
  


“Richie!” Beverly exclaimed nervously as she walked in from the door leading to the kitchen. “Um i wasn’t expecting you to be awake so soon.” 

  
  


“It’s ten o’clock.” 

  
  


“And it’s seven back out west, shouldn’t you be running on LA time right now?” 

  
  


“I’ve been out east for two weeks now.” He deadpanned.

  
  


“Well anyways!” She cut in. “We were just in the middle of breakfast when Eddie and Bill decided to pay a visit.” Her smile evidently strained as she stood between the three.

  
  


Richie could see as Bill eyed him, wearing a schooled expression over his face. While Eddie on the other hand was still staring at his plate. Richie couldn’t make out what was going through his head, it being so long since they’d last seen each other. 

  
  


“Richie, it’s good to see you again.” Bill wore an imitation of a smile, not fooling Richie.

  
  


“Uh Yeah, same here Bill. It’s good to see you.” He tousled through his hair, it being a nervous tick of his. 

  
  


Right then Eddie finally decided to look up at Richie, through his big brown eyes. He wore a warm smile with a tinge of pink across his face, making Richie’s heart stutter. The shorter boy always had that effect on him. He could already feel himself at a loss for words.

  
  


“Hi Richie.” His voice came out breathy. 

  
  


“Hey.” Was all Richie could manage.

  
  


There was a few seconds of silence, the two of them staring intently at one another, tension though the roof. Beverly then decided to clasp her hands, breaking it. “Okay! Well then if you would like to put on some pants and help me in the kitchen then that’d be great.”

  
  


Richie went flush, suddenly aware that he was very underdressed. He turned rigidly around and walked out, back into the guest room. Richie wasn’t sure how he’d managed to keep his breathing steady enough throughout the entire interaction to even appear just the least bit put together. He swore he was on the verge of hyperventilating. 

  
  


He didn’t get much time to freak out before the door slammed open behind him. Beverly rushed in before locking it. “Shit Richie, I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect them to come here. I asked if they wanted to catch up sometime soon, I assumed they thought we’d meet up at a diner or something. But then Ben came home and managed to conveniently not bring this up.”

  
  


“Bev–“

  
  


“–And I was like ‘what do you mean they’re outside’?”

  
  


“Beverly–“

  
  


“And lo and behold it was them right there. They even brought a gift basket for fuck sake. Which by the way was very nice of them, but like come on! The timing of it all was just–“ She was all over the place before Richie managed to grab onto her forearms to bring them down, hoping it’d defuse her rant. 

  
  


“Beverly it’s okay.” He tried again.

  
  


“No Richie it’s not.” She lets out an exasperated sigh, before shutting her eyes. “I was wrong for making you come out here. I don’t know, I just thought it’d be nice to have you back for a while, even if it was just for a little bit. But things seemed to have only gotten worse and I shouldn’t have put you through all this.”

  
  


Richie gently cupped her face, bringing her eyes to his before chuckling and nodding along. “Yeah I mean, I guess I could have gone without the surprise. But Bev I don’t want you worrying about this anymore. They’re still your friends, I’m not gonna get in the way of that. If they want to come over for breakfast then let them. That all happened like six years ago and obviously it seems that I’m the only one still hung up about it.” Richie recalls the way Eddie had looked at him as if everything that happened, just didn’t. And he wasn’t sure if that hurt worse or not.

  
  


Beverly gave him a weak smile, placing her hands over his, gripping them. “I’m sorry. I’m acting as if I’m the one seeing my ex. I’m the one who’s supposed to be doing the comforting.” Both letting out a small laugh. 

  
  


He straightened up before clearing his throat. “Now scram, unless you wanna get flashed, and i'll have you know it won’t be pleasant for either of us. He’s not at his fullest potential yet, you’d have to give me a second for that.” Only making Beverly roll her eyes.

  
  


“Yeah I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Then she got up and gave Richie one last reaffirming hug before walking out. Leaving him to flop back on to the bed, feeling an oncoming headache. 

  
  


This was sure to be one hell of a week. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author notes:
> 
> Sorry I took so long but I’ve finally been able to finish the chapter. Enjoy!

There was a painful awkwardness that ran throughout the room as they continued with breakfast. Beverly kept smiling at random times, trying to defuse the tension. Debbie on the other hand couldn’t stop talking—going on and on about the best way to prepare an omelette to _ Bill _. Who just so happened to compliment her cooking offhandedly.

  
  


While that went on, Richie couldn’t help the way his foot kept bouncing impatiently under the table, all the while staring at the band on Eddie’s left hand. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling at that moment. Richie respected the younger man and his privacy. Even if they hadn’t left off on a best note, he wasn't going to push any boundaries. But he just couldn’t shake off the aching need to ask about it, even if he wouldn’t _ ever _ bring himself to do so.

  
  


Luckily he didn’t have to wait much longer. Debbie seemed to have caught sight of the ring herself. “Oh my! What a beautiful engagement ring. Since when?” Everyone’s attention was on him now.

  
  


Richie tried to fake his uninterest by busying himself with the food on his plate, mindlessly picking at the eggs. If he had been paying the least bit attention, he would have noticed how Eddie glanced at him for just a moment.

  
  


Eddie began to pick at himself behind his ears, quirking his head uncomfortably. “Oh, yeah. Um I guess it just happened about two weeks ago actually.” He wore an extra sweet grin, almost on the edge of strained.

  
  


Richie’s throat suddenly went raspy, almost constricting. He brought the orange juice up to his mouth, desperately needing a drink. _He was_ _fine_, it was just awkward hearing about your ex’s relationships, or at least that’s what he told himself. 

  
  


“Oh how sweet! And how did Danny propose?” She locked her hands under her chin, now attentively staring.

  
  


It took almost all of Richie’s willpower to not react, quite surprised that he hadn’t choked on his drink. He wasn’t sure if anyone had noticed Eddie become rigid, but Richie certainly had.

  
  


Eddie’s face turned bright pink, now uncomfortably shifting in his seat. “Oh um well, he took me out to dinner on Valentine’s Day and then popped the question.” Eddie gave a nice smile, training his eyes to look at anything _ but _ Richie.

  
  


Richie couldn’t handle being in the same room with him any longer, he was suffocating. He started placing the utensils onto his plate before scooting out of his chair, a sickening silence spreading through the room.

  
  


“Oh sweetie, you’re finished already?” Debbie gave a worried glance, sensing the sudden tension.

  
  


Beverly picked up on his hastiness, stepping out from her seat as well. “Richie’s just been feeling a little under the weather lately. I’ll just go see if he’s okay.” Not waiting for a response before marching after him, catching up to him as he was emptying his plate into the trash can. “Richie are you okay?” She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

  
  


“I can’t do this Bev.” Stepping out of her grasp and around before pushing through the kitchen door, walking out.

  
  


“Wha–“ she stood there for a bit—stunned. Before going after him. “Richie wait!”

  
  


He got through the bedroom door and made a beeline for his backpack. Beverly then marched in as well, locking the door behind her. “Richie!” She hissed, trying to grab his attention. “What are you doing?”

  
  


“I can’t do this. I can’t do this Bev, I–“ He was choking up. It wasn’t the need to cry, that wasn’t what he was feeling. It was _ anger _ now that ran through him. “Why didn’t you tell me about Eddie?” He snapped around, accusing Beverly.

  
  


She stood there shocked. “What? Rich, I know you’re mad and I’m sorry for most things that have happened this far, but seriously? Come on Richie, we both know you wouldn’t have let me get the first two letters of Eddie’s name out before shutting me down. It wasn’t exactly an option.”

  
  


He stood there quietly, contemplating his options before continuing to put his stuff into his bag.

  
  


“Richie? Come on, what are you doing?” 

  
  


“I’m taking my things and I’m staying at my parent’s place. I don’t want to run the risk of unexpectedly running into those two again.” He could hear the malice leak into his tone.

  
  


“Richie please calm down.” 

  
  


“No Bev! No.” He could see Beverly’s wary expression. He hated it, one he hadn’t received since that day over six years ago. “Beverly, I’m okay–“ He cleared his throat, calming his voice. “I’ll be okay. I’m just not thinking straight right now.” Her expression still remained the same, not putting her guard down. “Come on Bev. Don’t give me that face. I’m not a kid anymore.”

  
  


“Are you sure? Because it sure didn’t seem like it a few minutes ago.”

  
  


Richie let out a defeated sigh before sitting on the foot of the bed. “You’re right, I’m getting ahead of myself. Just -- Please understand I’m not, I’m not mad at you. I never have been. What I said just then -- accusing you of deliberately doing any of this, well I suck for that.”

  
  


“Huge balls.” Beverly crossed her arms.

  
  


“Yes, huge balls.” He nodded. 

  
  


She let out a sigh, letting her arms drop. “Richie you know I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’m not mad if you want to stay the rest of the week at your parent’s place. I get it, it’s not personal. It must be hard hearing about Eddie’s engagement, and like this after all that went down. Trust me I was just as confused and angry for you when I even heard he was -- well you know what I mean.”

  
  


Richie just sat there, letting his anger simmer through him. He hated himself for reverting back to how he had reacted way back then. He should have grown since, but it seemed as though coming back to Derry was undoing all of his progress. 

  
  


“Who the fuck is this Danny guy?” _ What the hell did Danny have that he didn’t? _ It wasn’t that he still hung up on Eddie, _ of course not _. He was in a good place in his life right now. No, this was purely unresolved tension from their breakup, obviously.

  
  


Beverly sat down next to him, quirking a brow. “You really want to hear about this Danny guy?” And no Richie really didn’t, but if there was something that he just couldn’t outgrow was his childlike curiosity. 

  
  


“Yes.” He mumbles.

  
  


Beverly shook her head. “No you don’t.” She stated matter of factly. And she was right. “Come on I’ll help you pack. I’ll even go along with you to your place, I haven’t see your folks in a while. I actually still need to ask your mom for açaí bowl recipe.”

  
  


Richie just smiled back, appreciative. “Thanks.”

  
  


“Well let’s get to it.” Giving one last comforting squeeze to his knee before getting up. Richie knew then that even if the world was coming down on top of him that at least he’d have Beverly in his corner.

* * *

**July 2012**

“Richie I swear to god if you even dare move a muscle and tear this dress I’m going to lose it.” 

  
  


“Bevvvv,” He all but whined. Richie was starting to suffocate, he didn’t think that he’d grown _ that _ much in between years, but it seems that he was wrong.

  
  


“What’s up with you? I swore this size fit you like two months ago.” Beverly was tired of dealing with the inconvenience of upsizing the clothes for Richie, just for him to fit.

  
  


“I don’t know! I’m a growing boy Bev, I eat my greens.”

  
  


Beverly scoffed. “Hardly. I wouldn’t say the Baja blast from Taco Bell counts as ‘greens’.”

  
  


“See if I share my quesadilla with you next time.”

  
  


“Ugh look we’re getting nowhere. This looks ridiculous, I swear if I could only just cut your shoulders off, then it’d be a perfect fit.”

  
  


“Um okay, how about no. Is it that hard for you to just ask someone else to do these for you instead?”

  
  


“I don’t know Richie how many people do you know that would fit into a thirty inch waist maxi dress?”

  
  


They both took a moment before simultaneously saying “Wait.”

  
  
  
  


“You want time to wear what now?”

  
  


“Eddie I swear it’s all professional. It’s just you wearing this for a little bit while I retouch and detail it. No biggie.”

  
  


Eddie stared at her as if she had grown a second head. “Are you kidding me? Why can’t Richie do it, he’s been doing it for years.”

  
  


“No can do Eduardo. I’ve been growing into my manly physique for too long. I’m filling out each size that Beverly resizes for me. Inconvenient I guess.”

  
  


Eddie rolls his eyes. “You grew like two inches calm down.”

  
  


“Hey don’t hate just because you're still five foot.”

  
  


“I’m 5’6 you asshole! It’s normal in my family, my mom says her dad didn’t stop growing up until he was out of highschool.”

  
  


“Whatever helps you sleep at night Spaghetti.”

  
  


“That’s not my name!”

  
  


“Okay! Jesus all this yelling is gonna blow my eardrum out. Eddie please I’m begging can you please do this just this once. And if you really hate it then I won’t make you do it again.” She rolled out the puppy dog eyes for extra measure.

  
  


Eddie stared at her stone cold for a few seconds, then letting up as his persona melted away. Finally sighing in defeat. “Fine, just this once! I don't think my dignity would be able to consistently put up with this.”

  
  


“Hey! I’ve been modeling the women’s wardrobe for years.” Richie snaps, crossing his arms defensively.

  
  


Eddie’s lips quirk in mock. “Yeah but that’s because it’s you.”

  
  


“What the hell does that mean?” He exclaims making Eddie giggle. And _ wow _what a sweet sound that was.

  
  


“Okay quit flirting I don’t have all day.” She ushers them into the room to change.

  
  


“We weren’t flirting Bev.” Eddie’s face brightened pink at the remark.

  
  


“Yeah yeah. I’ll be outside when you two are done.” She shuts the door before either of them can say anything.

  
  


They both just stood there staring at the door, side by side, not knowing what to do next. Richie hated awkward silences.

  
  


“Okay well time to get naked.” 

  
  


“Naked?” Eddie exclaimed almost appalled. “I’m not getting out of my underwear even for Bev.”

  
  


“Jesus Eds relax. I was joking we don’t have to get naked just put on the damn dress.”

  
  


“I hate when you call me that! And your jokes suck ass.” He mumbles, a bit embarrassed.

  
  


Richie knew there was no point in continuing the banter, even though he’d happily do it for hours. But Beverly was waiting on them and he really didn’t want to deal with an impatient Beverly today. So he turned around to strip his shirt off. And because he didn’t want to get distracted by Eddie, he opted with facing the wall. As he was doing so he noticed that he hadn’t heard any other movement since he had started. Turning to look over his shoulder, he found Eddie with a glazed look over his eyes and pink cheeks.

  
  


When the other boy saw that he’d been caught his expression changed entirely, now almost annoyed. “You’ve got acne on your back.”

  
  


“Okay ouch. Bitchy much today?”

  
  


Eddie winced, knowing he was acting nasty.“I’m sorry. I got into a fight with my mom today.” He began taking off his clothes as well, neatly folding them.

  
  


Richie turned around to face him.“Eddie you know you can tell me anything right? I’ll always listen.” Eddie’s face burned even brighter at Richie’s tender expression. He didn’t quite understand where his sweaty palms came from though.

  
  


“It’s just–“ He groaned. “It’s so painstakingly infuriating sometimes. Y’know? Having to talk to her, only to get the same shit over and over again.” Richie was straining to keep his eyes on Eddie’s face as he bent over to take off his shorts. Those _ fucking _shorts. “Like why? I don’t even bother with her anymore. She’s insane, she brushed me off whenever I’ve tried and now that I keep her at a distance she’s been more overbearing than ever! Like fuck, what does she want from me?”

  
  


“Eds you’ve said it yourself. Your mom’s batshit crazy. Don’t listen to her, she's trying to get to your head. Ever since you’ve stop taking your meds she’s been this way, come on you know she’s desperate at this point. You’re getting out of her grasp and she’s losing it.”

  
  


“You know she’s been talking about this Myra girl to me all week? Yeah, she’s some niece from one of the ladies my mom talks to at church. I don’t get it, she’s always made it a point that girls were dirty and to be careful around them. She almost had a stroke when she found out Bev hung out with us at the quarry, and now she wants to set me up on some date?”

  
  


Richie felt chills across his skin from just the thought alone. Eddie, _ his _ Eddie with a girlfriend _ , _no way.

“Yeah that’s a thought.” Forcing a laugh to slip through.

  
  


“What? You don’t think I can get a girlfriend?” He crosses his arms defensively. 

  
  


“What? No, I _ know _ you can’t get a girlfriend. But I wouldn’t wish this crazy girl upon you even at that. If your mom approves of her I can only imagine what a real piece of work she is.”

  
  


“Oh fuck you!” Eddie then turned away from Richie, fuming as he continued putting on the outfit. Richie could only let out a sigh of relief, he really hated talking about girls with Eddie. Usually when they did, it was just Richie’s absurd stories about hooking up with them at parties while drunk. But whenever Eddie would bring it up, they were legit offers from random girls he hadn’t even talked to! He knew Eddie was cute, of _ course _ he knew, but it seemed as though everyone else was finding out just as well and it was _ torture _. Having to convince your best friend who was probably straight, that Olivia from English class looked too much like Mick Jagger, just to get him to turn her down was exhausting. And almost humiliating, putting in so much effort into preventing the unavoidable.

  
  


When they were both done getting ready, they walked out to find Beverly on the floor writing measurements into her notebook. She then turned to them. “Thank you Eddie!” Her smile wide and a bit amused.

  
  


All Eddie could do was scowl to override his blush. “Yeah whatever let’s get this over with.”

  
  


And the entire thing had been hilarious. Eddie almost ate shit trying to move around in the dress—too tight in some, yet too loose in other places. Luckily for Richie though, he only had to deal with the few suits that Beverly had designed that past fall. The real highlight of the day had been when the pizza arrived and Eddie had to wear a trash bag over his dress to eat. Richie was blessed with the task of carrying Eddie bridal style over to the dining room table, due to all of the restrictions. Eddie had only huffed and crossed his arms claiming how _undignified_ it had felt, but if Richie could have it his way then he would _gladly_ carry the other boy around wherever he pleased. 

  
  
  


Beverly cackled. “Richie you would not be most likely to kill someone with an axe. No way.” 

  
  


“What? You don’t think I have the balls Bev?”

  
  


“It’s not that she doesn’t think you’re dumb enough to do it. It’s just that with your twig arms, you’d probably drop it on your feet before lifting it high enough to do any real damage.” Eddie smirked.

  
  


“Huh good thing you’re only three feet tall then. I’d only have to push it off the counter for it to hit you.” Richie hadn’t been fast enough to dodge the pepperoni tossed at his face from a glaring Eddie. 

  
  


“Hey! No food fighting, you guys are gonna be responsible for moping down her floors if you do.”

  
  


“Richie started it.”

  
  


“I’m sorry I must have missed where I threw food.”

  
  


“Okay it seems like we should wrap it up. You guys are more insufferable than usual, and that’s saying a lot.”

  
  


Eddie began to get up from his seat. “Yeah I should get back home soon my mom will freak if I stay out past 7:30.” He began to wobble in place trying to balance himself.

  
  


“Eddie my love just lay yourself into my arms, and let me carry you to wherever the night awaits us.”

  
  


“Bite me. I can walk back.” He began to take off the trash bag in a haste, tripping over the fabric at his feet trying to do so. Before Eddie was able to slip backward and bust his ass, Richie got up from his seat and grabbed him by his hips as his head fell back onto Richie’s chest, making Eddie’s face burn hot from embarrassment, and certainly _ not _ because of the warm body flush against him. Not waiting a moment later to rip himself away from the taller boy with a quick scowl in an attempt to cover his reddened cheeks. 

  
  


“Careful there Spaghetti. I don’t bite.” Richie couldn’t help but give a smirk to Eddie’s mortified expression .

  
  


“This is bullshit. This dress is impractical Beverly. I can barely get around in this, I mean who can?”

  
  


“People of average height is my guess.”

  
  


“Shut it Tozier.” 

  
  


“Eddie it’s meant to be worn with heels first of all and secondly this isn’t the final product. That was the whole point of today, touching them up.” She then got up to throw the boxes away. “Also just let Richie carry you back. I don’t need blood on the floors.”

  
  


“Nay you say more.” Richie suddenly toppled the other boy over into his arms, supporting his body as he began to walk. Eddie didn’t take long to begin to flail. “What the shit Richie? You can’t just manhandle me.” Giving Richie an earful before settling in, knowing it was helpless.

  
  


“You wiggle around too much, like a noodle. Spaghetti if you will.” 

  
  


“You’re so annoying and worse I can’t even get away from you in this position.” Eddie kept his scowl, looking as cute as ever to Richie. There was this plushness to him that Richie just couldn’t get over. His hair, freckled skin and pink lips in a pout. It was all just so _ perfect _. It was all Eddie.

  
  


“Calm your tits Spageds we’re here.” He placed the boy gently onto his feet, arms steadying him.

  
  


“I hate it when you call me that. It’s just Eddie. My nickname doesn’t need a nickname! What the hell’s point?”

  
  


“Sorry but unless you’ve at least reached 5’10 I’m legally still obligated to keep shortening your name, just like your height.” 

  
  


Eddie made hands strangling the air up to Richie’s neck, teeth clenched. He let out a deep tired sigh as he dropped his hands. “I give up. I need to get home, I’ll blow my brains out if I stay any longer.”

  
  


“I know another way to blow your brains out.” Richie gave him a once over with a smirk, only widening from Eddie’s burning face. 

  
  


“Don’t say shit like that!” Eddie jerked his face downward, feeling his face get hot. Richie barked out a laugh, loving the pink that blossomed over Eddie’s cheeks.

  
  


His laughter died down soon after, smiling at the boy now. “Get dressed Eds, I’ll drop you off when you’re done.” Picking his clothes up from the floor to walk out. He really didn’t want to suffer the pain of controlling his teenage hormones once more, straying off a boner by thinking of naked grandmas could only work so many times. 

  
  


He walked away, stepping into the living room to find Beverly on the couch listing away in her journal. “So I think that the burgundy on these ruffles throws off the seasonal–“

  
  


“I’m gay.”

  
  


Beverly’s mouth hung open mid sentence, staring stunned. “–attire.” 

  
  
  
  
  


Eddie sharply turned down the blasting music. “Rich! my eardrums are disintegrating. How have you not gone deaf from the sheer volume alone, not even touching on the amount of shouting going on in the song.” Eddie sharply turned to him frowning. 

  
  


“_ ‘This song’ _is by Deftones, an amazing band only listened to by people with great taste!”

  
  


“I don’t care Richie. It’s bound to bring on a headache. It’s bad enough you’re blind, this’ll cause premature hearing loss.”

  
  


“Helen Keller 2.0 in the making.” Richie chortled, keeping his eyes on the road.

  
  


“I hate you.” Eddie frowned turning away from him, looking out the window. 

  
  


“Hey turn that frown upside down. Maybe I’ll even teach you how to drive before graduation.”

  
  


Eddie turned to him, face gleaming. “Really?”

  
  


Richie couldn’t deny him even if he wanted to. Seeing the excitement in the younger boy’s eyes made him _ melt _. “Would I ever lie to you Spaghetti?”

  
  


“I’m only gonna ignore that because you just made me the happiest guy on Earth right now.” Richie bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from breaking out into a huge grin. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure Eddie always felt that way. “Yeah well I know you’ve been arguing with you mom about it for months, and I’ve got nothing else to do so why the hell not? We’re finally gonna get you on the road Kaspbrak, spare the pedestrians please.”

  
  


“Shut it Richie I’ll make a great driver, even with you as my teacher.” Eddie smiled as Richie imitated offense. 

  
  


“How dare you? This is no way to treat your best friend taking time out of his busy and tiring schedule to do you this favor.” Richie pulled to the side of the road, right outside Eddie’s house. 

  
  


He could see that Eddie was caught up in his thoughts. Only a second later did the other boy move, grabbing his stuff. “Thank you for the ride Rich I’ll see you later.” He leaned over fast and planted a quick kiss onto his cheek. Richie sat there _ stunned _, he wasn’t sure how to react, but Eddie didn’t give him the chance to before opening the door and stepping out. “I’ll text you.” He said before shutting the door. Richie was still frozen in his seat, unresponsive, watching as Eddie walked through his yard and stepped into his house. 

  
  


He felt the piece of skin that had been against Eddie’s tender lips, beginning to heat up. He played the scene over and over in his head, probably for only a few seconds but feeling much longer than that. He turned forward, putting his keys into the ignition, starting up his truck mindlessly. Only as he began to drive off, did a flustered smile break through across his face. 

  
  


_ Wow _. He really looked forward to senior year.

* * *

**August 2012**

“They’ll be here, don’t fret. They have to be or else I’ll kill them.” Beverly stood on the sidewalk under the unrelenting summer sun. Her hands over her eyes as she squinted behind her sunglasses. She wore a striped tank top with knee length denim shorts. Her skin began to redden along with Richie’s as they waited outside the ice cream parlor.

  
  


“I’m sweating in between my ass crack Bev. Fuck‘em!” Richie wore an airy oversized band tee with his dad’s swimming trunks, the only shorts he could find that weren’t restricting. Most of his pants didn’t fit him anymore ever since his legs had gotten even _ longer _.

  
  


Suddenly right then Stan stepped out of the ice cream parlor with three ice cream cups. “Are Bill and Eddie still not here? Bill’s our ride, where the hell is he?” He said, handing them their distinctive cups..

  
  


Richie could feel the sweat near his hair line begin to drip down his face, cheeks flushed as well. He hated the humidity, it got disgustingly damp when summer hit. Months of feeling sticky really didn’t sit well with him, just giving him another reason to get the fuck out of Maine and to the dry desert that was California. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel as though his skin was stuck as one.

  
  


“Ah! I see them!” Beverly began flailing her arms side to side trying to draw attention to the minivan coming towards them. The old faded red on the car looked hot from the sun’s reflection. 

  
  


The car stopped in front of them, along the sidewalk. Bill gave a few honks. “All a-aboard S.S. Big Bill.” He said wearing a stupid grin.

  
  


“Wow that was corny as fuck. Leave the one liners to the master.” Richie got off against the parking meter stepping towards the van before opening the car door.

  
  


“Hey! Who said you were riding shotgun?” Stan stepped forward raising a brow.

  
  


“Uh I did?” He blew a raspberry and began opening the car door again before Stan came from behind and shut it. 

  
  


“How about no. I don’t want to have to hear you complain about the car ride all throughout again. You’ll be in the back with the rest.” Stan said it with no room for discussion, making Richie groan in protest.

  
  


“Fuck you Staniel. Don’t get mad when you feel me kicking your seat once I’m bored.” They then got in, with Stan in the passenger’s seat and Beverly, Eddie, and Richie in the back. Setting off to Ben’s house.

  
  


“I hate being in the middle.” 

  
  


“But you’re the smallest one here Eds.” Richie cooed, mouth full of chocolate ice cream.

  
  


“Beverly’s two inches shorter than me! And close your mouth that’s disgusting.” 

  
  


“Yeah I’d rather not be caught in between both of your guys’ bickering thank you very much.” Beverly pulled out her phone, balancing it on one hand to call the other two. 

  
  


“We don’t bicker!” Eddie exclaimed making a silence cast throughout the car before Bill, Stan and Beverly broke out into a fit of laughter. 

  
  


“G-Good one Eddie, I th-think we should l-leave the jokes to you i-instead. Funnier than what R-Richie could come up with.” Bill said wiping his eyes from tears.

  
  


“Hey! I’m plenty funny, just because you think peak comedy are Adam Sandler movies doesn’t mean I’m the problem here.”

  
  


“Cut it out you two! I’m on the phone.” Beverly scolded before going back to her call. “Yeah we’re on our way, did you bring the beer? Perfect, yeah see you soon.” 

  
  


“Mike got the s-stuff?” Bill asked glancing back through the rear view mirror.

  
  


“Yeah he said he had to sneak it out before his grandpa woke up. He couldn’t get some from his place, his parents would notice.”

  
  


Richie clasped his hands and dazed off dramatically. “Ah camping, nothing like it to make a group of alcoholics bond.” 

  
  


Eddie scoffed. “Speak for yourself. I’m not the one black out drunk most of the time.”

  
  


“I can handle my alcohol just fine, thank you very much.”

  
  


“Hah! We know you can handle your alcohol in both hands is what you mean.” Beverly giggled.

  
  


“I can stop whenever I want to, but where’s the fun in that? Also are you gonna eat that?” Beverly side eyed him, shaking her head before giving him the ice cream.

  
  


“Well I for one don’t find it very fun having to pick you up off the ground and nurse you back to health.”

  
  


“Aw but Eddie that just means you’re like my own little personal doctor. Sexy.” He pinched the other’s cheeks.

  
  


“Beep beep Richie.” Eddie batted away his hands, flushed in the face. 

  
  


“Okay shut the fuck up already. Just my luck that Bill’s soccer mom car doesn’t have an aux jack.” Stan rolled his eyes taking out his phone and ear buds.

  
  


“Hey! This car has p-pushed through to give us some great memories, pay some r-respect.” 

  
  


Richie looked at him expressionless. “Bill this car smells like baby powder.” 

  
  


“Well Richie maybe if _ someone _ hadn’t s-smoked weed, I wouldn’t have needed to c-cover the scent. You know my mom checks the va-van.” 

  
  


“Beverly smokes cigs in here all the time and you don’t say shit to her.” Richie retorted making Bill sputter.

  
  


“Yeah well I d-don’t say anything to _ either _ of you actually. You sm-smoke just as much as she does, so beat it Tozier.” Richie could see Bill’s pink cheeks from the accusation.

  
  


“This is stupid, just play something on the radio.” 

  
  


“Rich I don’t have an a-antenna, there’s like two stations that work and they only pl-play old people songs.”

  
  


“No music and the AC maxes out mid ventilation. Fuck I should just take a nap.”

  
  


Stan took off his earbuds to turn around. “Yeah maybe you should Richie. Actually that’s the best suggestion you’ve had all day.” Richie flipped him off through crossed arms.

  
  
  
  


They were soon pulling up to Ben’s place, parking in his driveway. Bill gave an obnoxious honk with a smile as Mike came walking toward them, carrying the cases of beer under his arms. Bill popped the trunk open before stepping out. 

  
  


“W-Where’s Ben?” 

  
  


“He’s inside getting the cooler. I think he could use some help with the tents though.”

  
  


Bill walked over to Richie’s side, hitting the window startling him awake. “Out, come h-help me carry the stuff.” He sounded muffled through the glass.

  
  


Richie proceeded groan while flailing his arm out to stretch. “Watch it Rich! You almost hit my face.” Eddie pushed at Richie’s side attempting to create a gap between the two.

  
  


“Well then hopefully it’d give you a concussion so there’d be less yapping in my left ear.” Richie laughed as Eddie began to grapple with him. It didn’t last long before the door his back was against suddenly snapped open, making him lose his balance with only his seat belt to save him. He looked up as his head hung out of the car meeting eyes with a certain redhead. “What the shit Bev? Are you trying to kill me?” He said finally getting up. 

  
  


“No but_ I am _ trying to get this trip on the move, so stop with your play fighting and get out of the car so you can help.” She tossed the door shut before turning away walking back into Ben’s house. 

  
  


Richie turned to Eddie. “What crawled up her ass this morning? She’s more snappy than usual.” 

  
  


Stan laid against his seat, eyes closed as he continued to listen to music. “Maybe if you’d go out and help with the tents instead of wasting time tickle fighting, then she wouldn’t need to be as bitchy. I don’t know just a thought.”

  
  


“Yeah well you keep thinking there Staniel, while the rest of us actually go help.” Stan just shrugged him off. “C’mon Eds I don’t plan on having an early burial anytime soon.”

  
  


After Richie and Ben got most of the equipment in and secured around the top of the car they needed to deal with a much _ different _ task at hand.

  
  


Richie shut the trunk, inhaling sharply before turning around to face the other four. “Okay, now that that’s all done and over with, who’s sitting on my lap?”

  
  


“And why the hell would someone need to be sitting on your’s?” Eddie raised a brow, crossing his arms defensively.

  
  
  


Richie tittered. “Wha–? I’m 6’2 I may be all bones but I’m not gonna fit on anyone’s lap. Well I guess only if pretty boy over here puts out an offer.”

  
  


“I’m all good Rich.” Ben replies laughing. 

  
  


“Actually think of it like this I’m like four of you combined, shortstack.” Taunting him with a few pats to the top of his head. 

  
  


Eddie sneered swatting him away. “Fuck you I’m not short!” Eddie hated Richie’s delighted expression.

  
  


“Yeah totally and Stan doesn’t think I’m annoying. See? It just sounds stupid.” 

  
  


Before Eddie got the chance to yell back Beverly spoke up. “I’ll sit on Ben’s, Eddie sits on Richie’s and Mike being the sweetheart he is will be given the pleasure of not dealing with either one of you. End of discussion, let’s go.” She walked off dragging Ben along, whose face was burning hot.

  
  


Both Eddie and Richie were left stunned. Richie could feel his face beginning to heat up, hopefully not as obvious as Ben’s. He glanced down at the boy beside him, whose eyes stayed wide. Richie recovered first. “Want me to grab a few fruit snacks for when you get cranky?” Richie mocked, hopefully masking his jitters.

  
  


Eddie kept his lips tight, clenching his hands shut. “Forget it, let’s just go.” He walked off to the car leaving Richie behind, barely restraining his excitement. This was gonna be an experience for _ sure. _

  
  
  
  


Not even five minutes into the ride did Richie last before biting his lip raw. Having Eddie so close and intimately placed against him was too much to handle, especially for a poor boy helplessly crushing on his best friend.

  
  


Eddie’s hair was right next to his face, just as soft as it looked from afar. He could see himself nuzzling into the brown locks—highlighted by the streaks of the sun shining through the window. He smelled amazing as well—_ clean _ , just as he’d imagined. This was Eddie so he shouldn’t have expected anything different, but hints of his shampoo came through as well. A very earthy scent, all perfectly _ Eddie. _ And don’t even get him started on the weight of Eddie’s warm body against his lap. He was wearing _ shorts _ for fuck sake. Richie always had an unhealthy obsession with them since before he understood exactly _ why _ . But it had happened one casual evening, they had all been hanging out in the clubhouse that day _ . _ Both Richie and Eddie were lying in the hammock. Richie had been reading his wolverine comic, he wasn’t sure how but his eyes started to wander off, landing on Eddie’s thighs. They had looked so soft and plush, almost like he could just -- _ bite _ into them. And that was when he had known, when he really _ knew. _

  
  


So in short he was _ fucked _ . Richie wasn’t a man of much restraint, if _ any _ at that, but in this case he had no choice but to muster all of his willpower to not pop a boner. And to say the least, it was at the cost of the tender skin on his bottom lip. He just hoped this didn’t lead to a Pavlovian response to lip biting in the future. And fuck was he suffering, but Eddie shifting around and pressing into his crotch wasn’t helping one bit.

  
  


“I’m uncomfortable, fuck this. Why are you so skinny?” Eddie glared over his shoulder at him.

  
  


“Fuck if I know, I take massive shits if that’s what you’re asking.”

  
  


“That’s absolutely disgusting Richie, shut the fuck up.”

  
  


“You asked!”

  
  


“Why does it always seem as though you guys need us as an audience to your arguments. You guys are right next to each other and it’s still loud enough for all of us to hear.” Beverly leaned forward to look them over with a glare.

  
  


“Yeah you g-guys are like this only af-after ten minutes. I’m not too sure if we can handle another t-two more hours.” Bill added.

  
  


“Yeah Rich it’s a miracle you haven’t gotten Stan to want to strangle you yet.” Mike let out an airy laugh.

  
  


“Is Stan even awake?” Ben leaned toward to glance up front. Stan’s eyes were peacefully closed shut with his hands clasped onto his lap.

  
  


Bill looked over to his side also a bit surprised that Stan had even been able to fall asleep with all this noise. 

  
  


“Well if you don’t want to hear me yell then Richie has to stop making me want to gag.” 

  
  


“Eddie I have plenty of other ways to make you gag.” Richie whispered close to his ear, making Eddie break out into goosebumps. 

  
  


“Ew Richie! Too far.” He turned away, face hot with crossed arms, seeming to be giving him the silent treatment. 

  
  


“Come on Eds I was only joking.” He brought his hand up to Eddie’s arm soothingly caressing up and down, in a silent apology. They had always been touchy so this wasn’t abnormal for them.

  
  


Eddie seemed to let out a breath he was holding in, leaning back onto his chest, and tucking his head under his chin. “Keep rubbing.” Eddie muttered with heavy eyes. Indirectly accepting his touch, it seemed almost as if some lover’s spat. And most of their arguments could be misinterpreted as such, if he were being completely honest.

  
  


Richie exhaled, his heart ached. This all seemed so tenderly domestic, almost as if as if he was _ allowed _ , but he wasn’t _ . _And so he just had to take what he could, whatever Eddie tossed at him he would cherish. It all seemed pretty pathetic if he thought about it, but when it came to Eddie he didn’t think. 

  
  


Eddie had fallen asleep soon after, but Richie hadn’t stopped caressing, he didn’t want to let go. He felt eyes staring at him as he glanced over to see Beverly—eyes sympathetic and _ knowing _. Ever since he had come out to her she had been nothing but supportive. 

  
  


It hadn’t taken much longer before he came crying distressed in the middle of the night one Friday about Eddie. It had happened three weeks ago, Eddie had gotten into an argument with him over a _ girl _. It was stupid and quite honestly Richie’s fault. Eddie had mentioned that one of the retailer’s at the local stores had told him he was cute. That was all that had happened, but Richie in a panic of hypotheticals had rambled on for who knows how long about what a miracle it had been for Eddie to have found someone more blind than himself. 

  
  


It was _ bad _ to say the least, Eddie began to cry and shout at him, Richie tried to back track and apologize. It was quite honestly pretty gross how much snot was involved, but he had gone to the only person that he _ could _ go to, _ Beverly. _In the midst of retelling the story he confessed the three year crush he had been hoarding on the other boy. Beverly didn’t take long to recover before advising him to go back and apologize to Eddie. She even suggested confessing but Richie was quick to tell her that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon. 

  
  


And so he did. Their make up involved just as much snot as their fight had. They fell asleep that night in a warm embrace on Eddie’s bed. And now here he was once again with Eddie in his arms, steadily breathing as Richie listened. Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough he’d be able to convince himself that he was allowed to be like this, _ with Eddie, _ for as long as he wanted and not for as long as he _ could. _

  
  


Bill turned on the radio to some random station playing a mix of different 70s folk songs. The ride was peaceful, with Richie drifting off once in a while as he stared out the window and off into the domain on the side of the road, trees and grass everlasting. 

  
  
  
  
  


Bill began to slow down, pulling up to a gas station. “We’re ru-running low on gas, I’m just gonna p-pump some real quick.” 

  
  


A chorus of groans ripped through the vehicle as they began to stretch. 

  
  


“Well that was a nap well deserved.” Stan yawned, rubbing at his eyes as he started to wake up.

  
  


“Wow so happy for you to join us Stan.” Beverly deadpanned. 

  
  


“How’d you f-fall asleep so fast?” Bill quirked a brow as he pulled up to a gas pump. 

  
  


“Took a melatonin pill, I wasn’t about to deal with Richie’s unwanted commentary for almost two whole hours, thank you.” 

  
  


“I’m hurt Stan, and to think I would have shared my knowledge on the Pandionidae, informing you all about the Osprey.” Richie shook his head in faux disappointment.

  
  


“You think highly of yourself, I wouldn’t let you disembark on that ship even if you tried.” 

  
  


Richie rolled his eyes. He tossed his head back and craned his neck to stretch out the crick. “Fuck my legs are asleep.” Eddie’s weight had already numbed his lower half thirty minutes into the trip. He suddenly felt the other boy shift, sensing that he was beginning to wake up. 

  
  


Eddie eyes fluttered open, letting out a small whine as he stretched, restricted in this position. “Where are we?” He said voice thick from sleep, and thank god Richie had no feeling in his lower half or else he’d have to resort to tearing at his lip again. 

  
  


“Made it to F-Freeport, but we had to stop by to get more gas. We ju-just got off the 295.” Bill informed, unbuckling his seatbelt to get out. “While I get gas you guys should go down and get some s-snacks.”

  
  


“Don’t need to tell me twice, I’m starving.” Richie shifted around wordlessly giving Eddie the cue to hop off. Richie unbuckled himself and leaped out of the van, keeping the door open for Eddie who just stared back silently with big bambi eyes. He was too cute to handle sometimes, but he looked _ especially _ cuddly with his bed head. His hair out and no longer in the neat style he had taken the time to put it in, tousled by his sleep—looking especially fluffy.

  
  


“Oh thanks.” Eddie said, voice small, making Richie’s lips quirk in a timid smile. Then following Richie to the liquor store. 

  
  


Beverly just kept back, observing the tenderness shared between the two that even _ they _ were unaware of, _ so stupid. _ She caught eyes with Richie, giving a sly smirk, teasing him. He quickly looked away flushing, he knew what she was hinting at. Beverly was never one to be subtle, and if there was one thing she was sure of is that neither was Richie. She wasn’t sure how no one had caught on. Now that it was known knowledge, she didn’t think that it could be any more _ obvious _ . Even she had to slap the back of her hand for not figuring it out sooner. They were _ all over _ each other, always ones to pick a fight and never stop. The tension was suffocating her.

  
  


Though she guesses that it was for the best, since Richie had this stupid idea that Eddie would resent him if he were to ever find out about his feelings. Beverly was more than certain that it would be a complete 180 from Richie’s expectations, but even if it wasn’t, she knew for a fact that Eddie wouldn’t ever hold it against Richie. But of course he didn’t see it as she did, yet again Richie had always been oblivious, so why should she be surprised.

  
  


“Okay gu-guys let’s get moving.” Bill said aloud as he walked in a few minutes later. They all proceeded to pay for their respective snacks, while Beverly used her fake ID to buy a pack of cigarettes. She tossed them in her hand as she gave Richie a smirk. Both having needed a smoke since this morning. 

  
  


“Gross, you guys are gonna smoke on this trip?” Eddie gave a disgruntled expression. He had always hated their smoking habit, _ sure _ he was a germaphobe, neurotic at times even, but there was a special place in his heart reserved for his hatred of smoking and more specifically _ Richie smoking _.

  
  


“Don’t get your panties in a twist Eds, I’ll only smoke two a day.” Richie said it as if Eddie should be pleased with his offer, but he was anything other than. 

  
  


“It’s a fire hazard Richie. And if you haven’t noticed—we’re gonna be camping, in the woods!” 

  
  


“Eddie calm down, I’ll drive us off the camping site to smoke, don’t fret.” Beverly stepped in, hands up in defense of Richie.

  
  


Eddie could only glare as he began to tick, his impatience growing strong. “Fine! I don’t give a shit, die of lung disease for all I care.” He whipped around and began striding away.

  
  


“Aw c’mon Eds don’t be like that.” Richie caught up to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

  
  


“I hate it when you call me Eds.” He refused to look at Richie, still pissed.

  
  


“You love it. Almost as much as you’re gonna love me once I tell you that I hooked you up with a used 2008 Honda Accord.” Richie said through a wide smile. “Tada!” Jazzing his hands as Eddie’s mouth dropped. 

  
  


“You got me a car?” He whispers only loud enough for Richie to hear. 

  
  


“Yeah, of course, what’s the point in driving if you don’t have your own car?” Richie scoffs still keeping his grin. “I was gonna tell you once we got back on Sunday since that’s when the car gets dropped off at mine, but I couldn’t have my favorite hypochondriac being mad at me the whole time, now could I.” Richie couldn’t help beaming as Eddie kept staring at him—eyes wide.

  
  


“Richie I could kiss you!” Eddie beamed before leaping onto him, winding his arms tightly around his neck. 

  
  


Richie stood there for a second processing what exactly had just come out of the other’s mouth. It didn’t take him long to break out of his trance, with Eddie nuzzling against his neck and all. Richie placed his arms tentatively around the other’s back, hyper aware of not aiming too low. He wanted to come off as friendly, _ not creepy. _

  
  


All he could do was breath out a stained laugh, attempting to break a joke. “Hah, I’d say you were the first to offer but alas it would be far from the truth.”

  
  


“Shut up Rich,” Eddie said, ever so sweetly. “How?” He finally pulled back, looking up at Richie.

  
  


“What you don’t think I have some big bucks on me?” He received a dubious look from Eddie. “Okay fine you’ve pulled it out of me. My dad has a regular patient who’s a mechanic that runs a repair shop. And he might have or might have not hooked us up with a steal. The offer was too good to pass.” Richie tucked his hands into his pockets, a bit flustered. 

  
  


Eddie kept staring in disbelief. “And your dad paid for it?” 

  
  


“Eh not exactly. I paid half initially, and he loaned me the other. I have to pay parts of it monthly before it’s all paid off. It’s not a big deal though, I’ve got a steady job at the movie rental so…”

  
  


“Richie oh my god, wha–“ Eddie could only close his mouth _ so _ many times. “That’s insane, _ this _ is insane. Richie thank you, Jesus, I don’t even know what to say.” 

  
  


He shrugged. “You don’t need to say anything, consider this an early birthday present from your’s truly.” 

  
  


“Richie my birthday’s three months away.” 

  
  


“Well I would have opted for Christmas but your birthday’s closer so.” 

  
  


“While I hate to interrupt your ever so touching moment -- we need to get going.” Stan popped in, eyes meeting Richie’s with a raised brow. Making Richie go rigid, he knew Stan was holding back comments, and he _ really _ didn’t want to know what they entailed.

  
  


“Right -- yeah,” he raspes out, keeping his lips in a tight smile while walking back to the minivan.

  
  
  
  
  


“Richie no, you need to connect the poles _ before _ you insert them.” Beverly came around and took them away. “Do I need to do everything myself?” 

  
  


“Fuck Bev, if I’m so useless then you probably don’t mind me taking nap while you get this finished.” He stood, crossing his arms.

  
  


“Did you even lay the tarp?” She said looking under the tent.

  
  


“Jesus Bev, yes! How dumb do you think I am?”

  
  


“Sorry, I’m just a big worry wart okay. I don’t want any of us having a collapsed tent in the middle of the night. Speaking of which, what time is it?” 

  
  


Richie blew out a tired sigh, reaching for his back pocket. “It’s 6:20. We probably have an hour left of sunlight before it’s dark.”

  
  


“Cool, I can get these up in thirty minutes. Hey Richie can you go over to the car and get some scissors, the cable ties won’t budge.” Richie groaned before turning towards the vehicle, he really just wanted to start a campfire and get buzzed, _ safely of course _. Alcohol away from the fire—as Eddie insisted.

  
  


He popped open the trunk and proceeded to rummage through the tool box. Not noticing as Stan came up from behind. “So Eddie huh?” He asked next to Richie’s ear.

  
  


Richie jumped, barely biting back a startled scream. Quickly turning around, letting out a relieved sigh at the sight of Stan. “Jesus fuck Stan, would it kill you to let a guy know you’re here. I swear you were a cat in your past life.”

  
  


“I’m Jewish there will be no fucking of Jesus going on anytime soon.”

  
  


“Ha. Ha.” Richie rolled his eyes. “So what’s up man?” He shut the box before turning around, placing a hand on his hip.

  
  


“What was that all about, with Eddie back there?” Stan didn’t waste any time, cutting straight to the chase. 

  
  


Richie began to shift uncomfortably, he felt his palms go sweaty. “Oh, um...”

  
  


Stan crossed his arms raising his brows expectedly. “Richie what’s been going on with you lately?”

  
  


“What? Nothing I’ve been fine.”

  
  


“No that’s not what I mean -- I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve noticed you become distant. I’ve tried not to let it bother me, but you seem to only be getting less and less talkative.”

  
  


“What do you mean? Stan I talk all the time, you tell me to shut up even more now!”

  
  


“Talkative to me.” He clarifies. “About things that actually matter. And that’s what I mean, you’ve been more insufferable than ever. It’s almost like it’s on purpose now, Richie you don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to but–“

  
  


“I’m gay.” Richie blurted, twisting his eyes shut, as if waiting for impact.

  
  


“–I’m here.” He finished out slow. 

  
  


Richie opened his eyes to find Stan imitating the same expression Beverly had. “Fuck I suck ass at this -- no pun intended. I need to stop doing that.”

  
  


“’_ Doing _’? As in you’ve done this before?”

  
  


“Yeah I kinda came out to Bev not too long ago, almost exactly like this.”

  
  


“Jesus Richie, yeah you probably should stop.”

  
  


“I don’t really know how to bring this kinda shit up! Give me a break.” 

  
  


“Richie stop, just give me a minute.” He twisted his face in thought as he put his fingers to his chin. Stepping back and shifting between feet for a few seconds. “So I wasn’t crazy.”

  
  


“Wha–? What do you mean, like you knew?” Richie exclaimed.

  
  


Stan shushed him. “Keep your voice down for fuck sake. Yeah no shit I knew. Richie you bought Eddie a fucking car.” He stared pointedly.

  
  


“Fuckkk,” He drew out. “You don't think Eddie caught on do you?” His palms even more clammy, now nervously tousling his hair. 

  
  


He scoffed. “Richie if there is anyone that could rival your obliviousness, it’s Eddie.” 

  
  


Richie let out a sigh of relief. “Stan, you don’t know how good it feels to tell you. I’ve been slowly working up the nerve to tell my parents but I’ve backed out a number of times. Bev’s great don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I kinda need someone more level headed to give me some advice.”

  
  


Stan placed a hand on his shoulder.“Yeah Rich, any time. Look I’m glad you confided in me. It means a lot.” 

  
  


“Aw Stan don’t get all sappy on me now.”

  
  


“This is why we can never have these type of moments.” He dropped his arm and turned around, walking back. Richie shut the trunk before chasing after him.

  
  


“Aw c’mon Stan. You know you love me.”

  
  


“I’m walking away now.”

  
  
  
  
  


“Okay! Okay, I d-dare you to take off your shirt and wear one of B-Beverly’s bras for the rest of the night!” Bill giggled.

  
  


“That’s it? Easy, Bev hand it over.” Stan motioned his hand toward her. She began to throw a fit of laughter. They were all so drunk, some more than others but it was a good buzzing feeling. 

  
  


It was dark out now and they had set up their tents and gotten a fire going. It had gotten cold, so they had thrown on jackets to keep warm. 

  
  


Beverly’s laughter died down and she began reaching down and under her top, clicking open the straps before pulling it out.

  
  


“Oh my go-god, he’s actually gonna do it.” Bill stared wide-eyed. 

  
  


“Woo Yeah!” Richie cheered, actually coherent for this time’s truth or dare.

  
  


Stan caught the bra as she threw it, still pulling off his shirt. He was completely bare chested as he started putting it on. Mike began to laugh at the sight of the empty cups against Stan’s chest.

  
  


“Happy?” Stan was pretty uptight normally, but once he got some alcohol in his system, everything started getting livelier.

  
  


“Who's n-next?” Bill spoke up. 

  
  


Stan raised his hand delightedly. “Richie, truth or dare?” 

  
  


“Dare!” 

  
  


“C’mon you al-always pick d-dare.” Bill groaned.

  
  


Richie scoffed. “Uh Yeah? Because truth is borrinnggg.” Bill rolled his eyes.

  
  


“Okay quiet down. I dare you to make out with that tree behind you.”

  
  


He took a glance back before shrugging. “No problem.” Richie said as he proceeded to get up.

  
  


Eddie grimaced. “Richie that’s absolutely disgusting.” 

  
  


“Oh really? I didn’t hear your mom complaining last night after I gave her a good ole lovin’.”

  
  


“Go die.”

  
  


Richie threw his head back, barking out a laugh. He could feel as they all stared at him. He walked over and made direct eye contact with a pleased Stan as he connected his mouth to the bark and licked. He went for dramatics, roughly making out with the wood for at least thirty seconds. He couldn’t feel his tongue afterwards but this was by far not the worst dare he had gotten. He swiftly walked back with a smirk on his face. “Done.”

  
  


“You nasty son of a bitch.” Stan smiled, crossing his arms—highly amused. 

  
  


Richie shrugged. “What can i say the Trashmouth’s gotta be useful for more than one thing.” He nudged at Eddie’s side, whispering closely to his ear. “Amirite?”

  
  


“You smell like raccoon piss.” Eddie muttered making Richie laugh. 

  
  


“Eds gets off on a good one.” Richie then loudly clasped his hands, drawing attention to him. “Okay my turn! Mikey! My man, truth -- or dare?” Pausing for dramatic effect.

  
  


“Mike took a swig of his nonalcoholic sangria. “Dare.” He finalized with a goofy smirk.

  
  


“Ding Ding Ding! Three in a row! Okay, I dare you to get shirtless and do seventy push ups right now.”

  
  


Mike brushes him off. “Easy shit.” 

  
  


“Ooh wow, tough guy eh?” Mike flips him off before removing his jacket and tank top, now completely shirtless. He drops down and begins getting twenty out of the way fast, slowly slowing down, uncoordinated from the alcohol. Now struggling to finish. “Seventy,” he breathed out tiredly before flopping down to his side. 

  
  


“See we need to stay humble there Mikey.” Richie brought up the brandless canned soda, giggling behind it as Mike flipped him off once more. Richie stopped for a moment as he felt Eddie snuggle into his side.

  
  


“I’m cold.” Eddie whispered without looking up. Richie could see the flushed hue on his face from the alcohol and cold wind. “Can I tell you a secret,” he whispered a little louder. If Richie didn’t know any better he’d say that Eddie was drunk, usually he’d get a bit tipsy at _ most, _but it seemed as though he was more far gone than Richie was. 

  
  


Eddie pulled him down by a tug to his upper sleeve. Now making eye contact—eyes glazed. “I’m drunk.” He giggled, tucking his face into Richie’s arm. Who suddenly felt _very_ _hot._

  
  


Richie smiled, laughing a bit. “Yes you are.”

  
  


Eddie giggled back. “Yes I am.” 

  
  


Mike caught his breath. “Okay my turn. Beverly truth or dare?” Richie then snapped his head back to what was happening.

  
  


She chewed on a pack of peanuts, taking a moment to decide. “Hmm, dare. Why not? I might as well keep the streak going.” 

  
  


Mike smiled pleased. “I dare you to make out with Richie.” Beverly’s mouth dropped as both Richie and Mike started cackling. Bill’s face was more amused than not, Stan only shook his head, while Ben kept himself eerily quiet. 

  
  


After a moment she finally spoke up.“Fuck it I’m drunk, I dont think I’m sober enough to care that you just made out with a tree.” She got up from her seat, now walking and plopping herself down next to him.

  
  


Richie thought it was the funniest thing _ ever _. This game was all over the place and he loved it. Truth or dare was only fun when everyone became unhinged. Even though he was beyond entertained, he could sense the tension he felt right beside him. He briefly glanced over to his right to see Eddie glaring at the fire burning, now distant from him. Richie was too tipsy to formulate any coherent thought, so he couldn’t really think too much about it before he felt cold hands firmly cup his face, dragging him forward before connecting their lips. 

  
  


The kiss was _ objectively _ nice. He learned that Beverly never forgot to use lip balm and had some killer tongue techniques. It only lasted a few seconds, before breaking off as Mike whistled. There was a chorus of cheers as Beverly got up and sat back down to her seat. “Now you can’t say you haven’t gotten a good kiss.”

  
  


“I salute you Miss Marsh. You did the world a great justice today, you took one for the team.” Richie applauded her, making her throw her head back in a fit of laughter. 

  
  


“Oh shut up.” Beverly wiped her hands off from the salt that clung to her fingers due to the nuts. “Okay my turn, Bill truth or dare?” She asks tapping the tips of her fingers together, imitating a mischievous smirk.

  
  


He exhaled. “Dare I guess.”

  
  


Beverly began to maniacally laugh, obviously more than a little tipsy at this point since she began to bust out the theater kid in her. “We brought some chocolate along with us did we not?” She rhetorically asks. “I dare you to lick chocolate syrup off Ben’s nipples.” Her evil smirk widening as Bill’s mouth drops. 

  
  


Richie then busts out cackling. Both Mike and him not able to contain their laughter. “Oh my god! Yes!” Richie was more than overjoyed.

  
  


Bill drew back, schooling his face. “F-Fine, whatever I’ll do it.”

  
  


“Hey is no one gonna ask my input on the hold thing?” Ben raised his hand, a scarlet hue casting across his cheeks.

  
  


“Ben you're not the one do-doing the licking calm down.” Bill responded before getting up to fetch the chocolate syrup. Richie let out a wolf whistle as the whole thing went down, with poor Ben more mortified than ever.

  
  


Bill gurgled and spat out his water for the second time before proceeding with the game. “Okay n-now it’s my turn. Richie.” The other boy hummed in response—amused. “Truth or dare.”

  
  


“Okay I’ll spare you the heartbreak. I’ll pick truth so you won’t cry about it any longer.”

  
  


Bill smirked. “Who d-do you have a cr-crush on?” 

  
  


Richie choked at the question. “Dare.” He corrected immediately. Richie fixed his eyes on Bill ignoring Eddie’s quizzed face.

  
  


“Eh! R-Richie Tozier si-sissying out on Truth or Dare? Your streak has been broken.” Bill shook his head. 

  
  


Richie hated backing out, but he wasn’t sure if he could believably lie. 

  
  


“Okay well since you backed out, your punishment-dare is to eat a spoonful of d-dirt.” 

  
  


Stan was the one to grimace this time, “Gross.” But Richie would one thousand times rather eat dirt than to risk his secret coming out.

  
  


“Hand it over Ringwald,” Richie said as he saw Beverly getting a plastic spoon out. Not wasting a moment later before digging it into the ground below him and plopping it into his mouth. “Mmm, juhmmy,” he spat out, mouth full of dirt.

  
  


Eddie began making gagging noises. “That’s diabolical.” Richie brushed him off before taking a big gulp and opening his mouth, with pieces of dirt still clinging to his tongue. 

  
  


“Ahhhh, see? My mouth’s empty, ate it.” He dusts his hands off, relieved he got off free from Bill’s truth.

  
  


“Don’t go around boasting about it.” Stan shook his head, which was quite funny considering he was still shirtless with only Beverly’s bra to cover him.

  
  


“Don’t try and control me. I’m a free woman now mother.” Richie laughed as Stan threw a pack of gummies at him.

  
  


It went on for a bit more, landing of Ben now. “Okay Eddie truth or dare?” 

  
  


The boy didn’t seem to be getting any more sober throughout the night, now tipping over, with his head against Richie’s arm. “Dare!” He exclaimed passionately, which was more than likely the alcohol speaking. 

  
  


“Then I dare _ you _ to kiss the person sitting right next to you.”

  
  


And you see, they had been sitting around the fire, so Eddie could have chosen between either Bill and Richie, and _ god _ did he hope he’d pick Bill. Now don’t get him wrong, he wants more than _ anything _ to be able to kiss Eddie, but there was always one thing in common with all those fantasizes—they weren’t _ real. _ Richie was hopelessly gone for the younger boy, but he didn’t know how he could take it if he were to have Eddie kiss him as just some _ dare. _ He knew if he were to taste it—just this once that he’d be hooked, _ like cocaine. _ Yes, Eddie was like a drug to Richie and he needed to take it in small doses before he became an absolute fiend. So you can see just how absolutely _ frightening _ it was. 

  
  


Eddie scoffed, pulling back now. Richie exhaled, _ relieved _ , thinking Eddie was going to shift right, bit _ no. _He stared right up at Richie, eyes determined and the expression would have definitely made him melt had it not been for the circumstance. 

  
  


“Richie,” Eddie whined, pulling on his sleeve. He tried to ignore the boy which didn’t work out considering the rest kept staring. “Richiieee,” Eddie nudged at him even harder. 

  
  


“What?” Richie asked, ignoring the implication. 

  
  


“Kiss me.” He stated just like that—no dodging the question.

  
  


Richie’s face immediately went white and he could see that Eddie had caught on too. He saw a hurt flash across Eddie’s face before he tore himself away, as if he had been burned. Then getting up in a haste, trampling away to the tent, leaving the rest behind speechless. 

  
  


A silence spread through the atmosphere. Richie’s head was still turned away from the group—having followed Eddie’s exit. He cringed at the thought of turning back around to face the others, but as he did he kept his lips _ tight _ . He could see the confusion on Mike and Ben’s faces. While Beverly gave him a pair of sad eyes, sympathetic. Stan on the other hand just closed his, seemingly done with Richie’s bullshit. Something that surprised him though was Bill’s face, he seemed _ pissed. _That was new.

  
  


“We should go to s-sleep, it’s getting l-late anyways.” Bill said curtly, putting out the fire. 

  
  


Richie just sat there, still a bit confused as to what had just happened. As everybody started getting up and into their respective tents, Richie hesitantly did the same. He almost asked Stan if he could trade tents with him. But before he got the chance to, Stan spoke up. “Go talk to him Richie. I know you hate it when he’s mad at you. And also I don’t want to go through the next day with tension in the group.” He offered a smile before stepping back and into his tent he shared with Beverly.

  
  


Richie cursed himself, _ why did he have to be such a dumbass _ . How did he keep fucking things up? And _ worse _ , he had no idea how to fix it. He didn’t even know _ why _ Eddie had gotten so mad.

  
  


He started for the tent, slowing his pace as he got closer. Tentatively zipping it open, just in case Eddie had already fallen asleep. Richie took out some mouthwash from the bag at the end of the blanket. He proceeded to swirl it in his mouth and spit outside, zipping the tent closed before tugging on the edge of the sleeping bag and getting in. 

  
  


He faced Eddie’s back, he was right _ there. _Looking so small under the blanket as he curled up in his sleep. Richie just wanted to reach out and pull him into his chest and fall asleep embraced just like they had those few weeks ago. But before he could finish that thought, Eddie began to turn over. And the sight tore Richie’s heart.

  
  


He could make out dried streaks of tears that ran down his cheeks, due to the moonlight’s reflection. Richie cursed himself for having made Eddie _ this _ upset. 

  
  


“Am I ugly?” He spoke, voice almost ashamed. And _ that _ caught Richie off guard. His eyes widened at the question, mouth opening and closing trying to find a response.

  
  


But he guesses that Eddie interpreted it as indirect confirmation. His face became distressed as tears pricked at the edge of his eyes—in a silent cry. 

Richie quickly responded this time, hands flying up to cradle the smaller boy’s face. “No! No, Eddie of course not. Why would you think that?” Richie’s eyes skimmed rapidly over his face trying to understand.

  
  


“You -- you don’t want to kiss me.” He bit out as steadily as he could, even with all the mucus and tears in the way.

  
  


Richie’s eyes widened. “Eddie, no, it’s absolutely _not _because I think that you're _ugly -- _which I _don’t_ by the way -- that I was hesitant to kiss you.” He tried to comfort him by caressing his cheeks with his thumbs.

  
  


Eddie’s big glossy eyes looked up at his, almost scared at the answer. “Eddie, you’re so so so cute, _ adorable _ even, so never think that you’re ugly okay? It was just my own shit okay? We got that clear? I was just scared I guess.” Richie looked away, feeling transparent..

  
  


“Scared of what?” He asked, voice small. 

  
  


“I don’t know. _ Everything _?”

  
  


Eddie stared back, his piercing dark eyes looking through Richie’s. “Kiss me.” He breathed.

  
  


Richie began to sputter. “What?” He was most _ definitely _ sober now. “Eddie, _ no _ you’re drunk.” His entire body went hot. 

  
  


“No I’m not.”

  
  


“Yes you are.”

  
  


“No. I’m not.” Eddie insisted even louder, and he pressed his chest against Richie’s.

  
  


Richie put a hand to Eddie’s shoulder—pushing his away. “Eddie _ no. _ I’m not gonna kiss you when you–“ Then a pair of lips pressed against his own, drawing a squeak from Richie in surprise. It was warm and eager, and _ definitely _ messy.

  
  


Richie despised himself, knowing he couldn’t bring himself to push Eddie away this time. His hand began caressing the side of Eddie’s face, as he pivoted slightly to slot their lips together—fitting more easily.

  
  


He wasn’t sure how long they had kissed for, but Eddie hadn’t wasted any time before tracing his tongue onto the seam of Richie’s closed lips. Making him jerk from excitement, he felt his body begin to itch from all his jitters. 

  
  


Richie was a _ weak _ man, he didn’t fight against him before opening his mouth—allowing the other boy access. And _ wow _ did Eddie taste good. Richie could taste some of the saltiness from Eddie’s tears mixed in with the alcohol that clung to his breath _ . _But it didn’t matter because this was Eddie. 

  
  


The smaller boy pressed even harder, drawing a whimper from Richie. His hand drifted to the back of Eddie’s neck drawing him in closer. Making sure that their lower halves didn’t so much as touch, he wouldn’t know how to handle it.

  
  


There was a line that crossed into something more explicit and he wasn’t too sure, but he could almost bet they were heading there if they kept this up. But before they could, Eddie drew back—gasping for air. Eddie’s lips looked swollen and spit slicked, his eyes glassy but now for a completely _ different _ reason _ . _

  
  


Richie hadn’t noticed that he was also out of air—chest heaving. He wasn’t sure how he had forgotten the need to breath, but he was almost willing to bet it involved kissing Eddie. 

  
  


“Wow” was all that Richie could muster.

  
  


“Yeah, _ wow. _” Eddie parroted back. His eyes were staring at Richie’s mouth—hungry.

  
  


But before Eddie could lean back in, Richie had to do one of the hardest things he’s ever done. “Eddie wait.” He brought a hand against the other’s chest. “Look, I know you say you aren’t drunk but -- and let me talk -- I don’t want to do this without you being sober -- without _ both _ of us being sober. Okay?” 

  
  


Eddie stared back, finally nodding. “yeah okay.” 

  
  


He let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you. And if you’re serious about this, then please tell me, tomorrow, _ sober _.” He pleaded, staring long and hard at Eddie, as he waited for confirmation.

  
  


“Yeah...Okay.” Eddie dumbly nodded along.

  
  


“Okay...okay.” Richie settled, trying to steady his breathing. Eddie then nuzzled closer to him, tucking himself in between his arms. Richie warmly wrapped himself around the smaller boy, engulfing him.

  
  


He would know if this was the real thing or just some drunken mistake soon enough. And he hoped to _ god _ that Eddie remembered. 

* * *

**March 2019**

“Bill, I think I’m about to puke.” Eddie kept his head in his hands as he stared down at the table. He had been able to steady his breathing by now, but he could still feel himself fighting off the anxiety threatening to take over. 

  
  


Bill, being the great friend that he was—soothingly rubbed down his back, attempting to comfort him in this moment of distress. “Eddie you need to calm down.” 

  
  


He looked back up at Bill, dropping his hands to the table. “And what exactly do you think I’m doing?” Eddie snapped. 

  
  


Debbie walked back into the dining room from the kitchen with two cups at hand. “Here’s your tea sweetheart.” She gently placed his onto the coaster.

  
  


“Thank you Debbie.” He quickly brought the warm jasmine tea up to his lips, taking small sips. 

  
  


He was going _ insane. _ He didn’t know what he was thinking coming back to Derry to see Richie, since Richie obviously didn’t want to see _ him _. He even stormed out of the room. What had Eddie been expecting? 

  
  


Seeing Richie again after six years was a whirlwind of emotions to say the least. When he had heard from Stan that Richie was coming back to Derry he didn’t think—he just acted, and _ recklessly _. Dropping everything and booking a flight back. Using the pathetic excuse of visiting his mother, which he hadn’t done in years.

  
  


But seeing Richie again just brought back so many memories, both sad and joyful. After everything that happened -- after everything Richie had done to him. To still be so willing to bring him back into his life or it seemed to at least _ try _, going off by their first meeting. 

  
  


All that was going through his head was:_ there’s definitely something wrong with me. _ Because most people wouldn’t be this willing to reconnect with their ex, and one that had broken their heart at that, yet here he was. _ Maybe it was some kind of Stockholm syndrome? _ Great, just another thing for his therapist to unpack.

  
  


Eddie didn’t get much time to himself before he heard the door down the hall click open, making Eddie’s head snap towards it. 

  
  


He caught sight of Beverly’s shadow as she got closer, stepping into the room and deeply inhaling before she spoke. “I’m sorry to have to cut breakfast short, _ but _ Richie’s feeling not so good, so I’m gonna drive him to the pharmacy to pick up some medicine.” Laughing awkwardly as she gave an apologetic smile. “I’ll be back though! So can we catch up further at dinner?” Subtlety indicating the _ obvious: _Richie didn’t want to be here. Eddie wasn’t stupid.

  
  


Bill glanced over at him, a look that said _ I told you so. _ And if he was being fair, Bill would have complained however way this meeting went. He was in complete disfavor of the entire thing, pleading that if Eddie wasn’t going to change his mind on going that he’d at least bring him along. And it was support well needed as it turned out. The entire thing had gone to shit.

  
  


“Um yeah. It’s no problem, if you want we could get going?” Eddie didn’t need to feel unwanted any further. 

  
  


“What? No. Please, you're always welcome -- You too Bill, stop by anytime. It’s just unfortunate that with allergy season and such—we had to cut this visit short.” Her face was not quite convincing. 

  
  


Right..._ unfortunate. _

  
  


“No please. We kind of have to get going. Tell Ben we said hi.” Bill spoke up instead; and thank god that he had because Eddie’s mind was all over the place at the moment. 

  
  


Bill got up first, pulling his coat off the back of the chair. Eddie followed pursuit, mindlessly so. He was caught up in a haze of emotions, not processing it all, just pushing along. 

  
  


He motioned towards Beverly, pulling her in. Eddie loved her, she was great, she was his _ friend _, or so he as far as he knew. Richie had always been closer to her anyways. Maybe she had chosen her side, just as Bill had chosen his. But he sure hoped not, ‘cause she was the best. “I’ll see you around okay. Please call, I’m holding you to that dinner.”

  
  


“Tomorrow then?” She offered, sincere eyes staring right back at him. He knew then that she was still just _ Bev _ . “At _ Rossi’s _. Heard their ossobuco was pretty good.”

  
  


Bill came in behind him, clasping his hands reassuringly onto Eddie’s shoulders. “We’ll be there for sure! Right Eddie?” 

  
  


Eddie’s brain was still lagging, _ emotions _he guesses. “Uh, yeah -- of course.” Snapping out of whatever trance he was in. “Is five good?” 

  
  


“Dinner at _ Rossi’s _; five o’clock. Got it.” 

  
  


“Richie’s welcome to come as well if he would like.” Bill finishes off, surprising Eddie.

  
  


He knew Bill had his reasons for his hesitation, but he was still here in support of him. Even if that meant putting up a front, in hopes of this sailing smoothly. 

  
  


Beverly smile seemed to shift, not obviously so, but enough. “Oh? Yeah, of course. I’ll ask, see if he’s better by then… y’know.” Pushing out a forced laugh. 

  
  


“Well then! We’ll be on our way.” Eddie awkwardly motioned himself backwards. “Thank you again Debbie for the breakfast.” 

  
  


“Anytime dear.” She waved, seemingly a bit confused herself as to the situation occurring before her.

  
  


Bill and Eddie walked out giving their last goodbyes. His hands jammed into his pockets a bit embarrassed from the entire encounter. 

  
  


“I told you we shouldn’t have come.” Bill muttered as he unlocked the door to the sedan. 

  
  


“Uh okay Bill I get it. Coming over unexpectedly wasn’t the best way to approach the situation. We get it.” Eddie sighed, getting into the passenger’s seat. “I mean how was I supposed to know that surprising your ex at ten in the morning after six years wouldn’t go over well?” So yeah, now that he thinks about it maybe Bill had a point.

  
  


“And now we’re having dinner with said ex tomorrow evening. You’re lucky it’s Italian or else I’d ditch you -- Fuck that was awkward.” Bill exhaled as he started the car up. 

  
  


Eddie cringed recalling the entire thing. “Wow I’m so blessed to have a friend as great as you in my corner, for sure.” He deadpanned as he fought off a headache from the massive amount of stress he had just gone through. 

  
  


“You bet your ass you are.” He scoffed though a smile, igniting a laugh from Eddie.

  
  


He could only hope that Bill would behave enough for tomorrow’s dinner with Richie. He didn’t want their senior year brawl to make a comeback. He just needs it to go decently. Maybe he didn’t need to reconnect, _ maybe _ he needed closure, _ yeah that sounds about right. _ After everything Richie had put him through, he felt like he finally wanted an explanation. Maybe he wasn’t ready back then, but he is now. He needs to hear his side of the story. Maybe they could put it behind them, hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I planned on ending it farther into the story, but it got kinda long and I wanted to put this out already :/ Hopefully it’s not too messy, but I’d love to read your thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author notes:
> 
> Okay first! I was caught up with school for a while, then writer’s block hit :/  
Now that I’m on break, I was able to finish it up :)
> 
> Also surprise! I got a head of myself and miscalculated how long I actually needed to make this story was told the way I wanted... so now it’s definitely more than five chapters haha...

**“**Richie!” 

  
  


Richie groaned, pressing his face deeper into the pillow, attempting to block out the calls.

  
  


“Richard, wake up!” The voice came distantly, slowly becoming louder.

  
  


His eyes slowly opened, squinting from the sunlight hitting him through sheer curtains. His head then snapped toward the knocking at his door.

  
  


There his mother stood, eyes sympathetic as she leaned against the door. “Richie, sweetie it’s noon already and I refuse to let you sleep in all day.” She stepped in walking toward the bed. “You have to come downstairs for breakfast at least.” Then sitting by his feet, giving a few pats to his shins before following. “I’ll start the shower ‘cause hun you stink, and I’m not going to indulge you in your cavern of filth. This isn’t highschool anymore and this time I _ will _ make you go with your father to the dental parlor, watch me.”

  
  


Richie groaned as he pressed the pillow against his ears, then lifting to lean up propping himself on his elbows. “I’ll get up. Just please don’t make me have to sit through thirteen different molar fill ins.” 

  
  


Maggie shot up. “That’s the spirit, I’ll even make you some waffles.” Richie had always been a fan of them so he guesses getting out of bed wouldn’t be so bad.

  
  


She began to walk out, but turned around sharply just before, snapping her fingers. “Shoot I almost forgot, Beverly called. Said something about dinner?”

  
  


“Huh?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You want me to do what know?” He choked as he ate.

  
  


“Richard! Don’t speak with your mouth full, have some manners.” Maggie shook her head from the sink.

  
  


He sighed as Beverly continued. “Look I’m not going to make you do anything. No surprises okay? But, maybe this would be good for you.” She tilted her head as she leaned forward, smile hesitant. “Yesterday was a reck of things, trust me I know, but Richie c’mon, we both know avoiding the situation isn’t any good either.” Face desperate in her attempt.

  
  


Richie pulled his chair back to cross his legs as he sighed. “Bev, I appreciate the effort but I’m not sure if that’ll go as smoothly as you say so.” 

  
  


She whipped back, expression quizzed.“What? Why not? Obviously if they asked then it means that they’d also like to put in the effort to reconcíliate.” 

  
  


He rolled his eyes. “Bev, Bill still looked like he couldn’t tolerate my presence back there. No way.” Continuing to avoid her gaze as he cleaned up his plate.

  
  


She gave a pointed look. “Bill’s the one who asked for you.”

  
  


Richie shook his head, wiping his hands clean. “Bev, no. I know him, we’ve known each other the longest actually. So trust me on this—he can’t stand me.”

  
  


“Bill cares for all of us Richie. Sure maybe you guys got into an alterca–“

  
  


“He gave me a black eye Bev,” Richie deadpanned. 

  
  


Beverly winced, recalling the instance. “Okay and well maybe you shouldn’t have broken his nose, hm?” Shrugging with a tilt to her head.

  
  


“Bev, no.” He groaned, hands dragging across his face.

  
  


“Richie sweetie don’t do that you’ll give yourself wrinkles,” Maggie walked in, dish rag over her shoulder as she stood between the two.

  
  


“Mrs.Tozier, please tell me what you think.”

  
  


He pointed at Beverly, attempting to halt the conversation. “Hey we are not dragging my mom into th–“

  
  


“Let’s say that _hypothetically_, you and a friend both did something you regretted, straining your friendship, and then even though you both _want _\-- might I add -- to make up, you are withholding yourself from doing so because of your presumptions? What do you think of that?” Propping her chin onto her hand, ignoring Richie’s curt stare.

  
  


Maggie took a seat in between them, wiping her hands with the rag as she spoke. “Well, I’d say that I would make the _ adult _decision and not assume what someone else thought before talking to them. Hm.” She spoke toward Beverly while tilting her head briefly at Richie as he let out a groan. “But that’s just me. Also at least if they still had their mind set on keeping a grudge I’d have my mine clear, knowing I’d done my part.” Lifting her hands in defense. “But what do I know?”

  
  


Richie let out a puff of air as he leaned his face against his hand. “I’m tired, I’m gonna go take that shower.” He spoke, voice rough. Then slowly stood up before walking out as both their gazes followed. 

  
  


Beverly slumped back onto her chair, sighing. “Mind me asking what that was all about?” Maggie questioned with a raised brow.

  
  


“Sorry Mrs.Tozier, I didn’t mean to get you involved.”

  
  


“Nonsense Beverly, this is my son we’re talking about. I’d wish it were him reaching out, but I’d never complain about something like this, with any of you kids.” 

  
  


Beverly offered a smile, relaxing a bit. “Thanks, I wish that he would just listen y’know?” Maggie let out a knowing laugh as she nodded before Beverly continued. “He’s being difficult and I just want the best for him. Maybe I’m coming on too strong?”

  
  


“Richie,” Maggie exhaled, “well he’s the sort that needs that extra push, a little tough love.” She placed a comforting hand against Beverly’s. “Don’t worry he might be hard to get through but he’s never been one to be purposely oblivious. He’ll make his decision, and I know it’ll be the right thing, whatever it is.” 

  
  


Beverly sure hoped so.

* * *

**August** **2012**

  
  


Bill threw a rock into the lake and watched it skip through the water as Stan went through his phone beside him.

  
  


“So Richie confirmed that he had a crush yesterday. What does that mean, like what could that entail?” 

  
  


“Huh? I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” Stan briefly looked away from us phone to answer.

  
  


“Jesus Stan, keep up.” 

  
  


“Bill what do you want? I mean I don’t know. We were drunk as hell yesterday, I don’t even remember half the shit that went down.”

  
  


“Well he obviously felt like he had to keep it a secret from us if he agreed to eat dirt.”

  
  


“Bill, Richie may be irritatingly loud but he’s always been private when it comes to this sort of stuff.”

  
  


“Now what’re you two little ladies doin’ out here all alone?” Beverly spoke, waltzing in with a southern belle accent, wearing sunglasses in an attempt to block out the morning sun.

  
  


“Bev come.” Bill motioned forward.

  
  


“What’s going on?” She whispered with a humored grin as she leaned down to where they sat by the bank.

  
  


Bill rolled his eyes. “Richie confides in you right?” He asked, ignoring Stan rolling his eyes.

  
  


“Uh I guess?”

  
  


“Good, would you happen to know what had him so worked up yesterday about my ’truth’ question.” He attempted to ask innocently enough.

  
  


“Uhh sorry but we were pretty drunk, you’d have to remind me.”

  
  


Bill groans, “Am I the only one that wasn’t drunk?”

  
  


“Bill my parents are conservatives. I don’t have the option of getting tipsy whenever I want. I’m getting drunk.” Stan quipped as he continued typing away at his phone.

  
  


Beverly barked out a laugh. “Bill don’t get mad that you're the designated driver incase if the Smokey Bear effect decides to screw us over. That or Richie sets the tent on fire trying to light a cigarette, I have my money on the latter though.”

  
  


Bill frowned, impatient from the growing chatter. “What? No, forget all of that, what I was _ referring _to was if you had any idea why Richie refused to answer me about the crush question. This obviously alluded to the fact that he has one. Do you think–“

  
  


“Woah, woah, hold on there Big Bill. You’ll have an asthma attack if you don’t slow down and you’re out of luck since Eddie threw his inhaler away months ago.” Beverly nervously laughed.

  
  


“Yeah Bill, keep it down. I’m in the middle of successfully blocking out most of this conversation.” Stan continued with his obnoxious typing.

  
  


Bill glared, snapping his hand over Stan’s, halting his motions. “As i was _ saying, _” Receiving a glare from Stan as he turned to face Beverly, “Richie’s been acting suspicious for some time now. He’s swerved on any of the questions I’ve had, do you think he’s hiding something?” 

  
  


Stan caught Beverly’s eyes, giving her a pointed look, drawing a puzzled expression from her, still keeping a steady tone. “Uhh, I don’t think so Bill, I mean maybe Richie just gets uncomfortable around this topic. I mean Mike hates the word moist, maybe it’s something like that.” She answered as she silently conversed with Stan through muddled glances.

  
  


“Richie? Richard Tozier? The same guy who goes into graphic detail about Eddie’s mom, is uncomfortable talking about..._ crushes _?” Bill’s face made his thoughts more than clear.

  
  


“Richie’s been y’know, um sensitive ever since his break up with Sandy.” Beverly offered with a strained expression, frantically trying to steer Bill clear from any suspicions.

  
  


Bill grimaced. “Ugh don’t remind me. He was a mess.”

  
  


And honestly that was the best Beverly could do. Richie had been a mess when Sandy broke up with him. Though she hadn’t known exactly under what circumstances since Richie refused to talk about it and she respected that. But things got even more confusing once he had come out to her all those weeks ago.

  
  


“Yeah Richie’s always been a bit…delayed if you will.” Stan agreed.

  
  


Mike then came walking in behind Beverly, stopping any response from Bill. “Hey what are you guys doing out here?” He looked as if he’d barely woken up, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

  
  


Beverly stood straight to spin around. “Nothing Bill’s just being a pain. Hey has Ben checked if he loaded the graham crackers for the s’mores?”

  
  


“Uh I’m not sure I haven’t asked, I was actually meaning to ask you guys if you’ve seen Richie?” 

  
  


Beverly's face turned worried from Mike’s tone. “Huh? I didn’t know he was even up yet, he usually sleeps in.”

  
  


Mike shifted now seemingly uneasy. “Yeah same, I thought he’d be out here with you guys. Eddie hasn’t seen him in an hour, he left without saying anything and won’t answer his phone.” Mike began scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably under their gazes.

  
  


Stan stood up: face pinched, seeming to be dialing Richie’s number. Beverly and Bill stared as the call went to voicemail, Stan cursing in return. “Where’s Eddie? I’ll go talk to him.” 

  
  


Mike pointed back towards the minivan. “He seems a little upset just so you know.”

  
  


Stan quickly made his way past Mike, sensing the others not too far behind.

  
  


As Stan got closer he could hear Eddie swearing under his breath as he kept his phone against his ear. “Hey Eddie is everything alright?” He could see the slight distress in his expression as he turned to face them.

  
  


“No actually it’s not. Richie’s been gone for almost an hour and a half, he’s not answering my calls and didn’t tell me where he went.” He gripped at his arms, face frowning.

  
  


“Okay, it’s okay. We’ll just text him if he won’t answer.”

  
  


“I’ve done that Stan.” Eddie responded impatiently. “He hasn’t opened any of my messages.”

  
  


Beverly stepped forward. “What happened? Did you two argue?”

  
  


Eddie went rigid, eyes dropping. “I mean I don’t know? He was weird when we woke up, I wouldn’t call it arguing though.” 

  
  


Stan shook his head. “Okay well obviously Richie’s upset, let’s just stay calm.” He turned to all of them, keeping his voice steady. “Beverly will keep calling and wait for a response, the rest of you stay here in case he comes back, while Eddie and I go out and look for him.”

  
  


Beverly nodded, the rest following just before Stan continued. “Okay, we’ll be back in thirty minutes if we don’t find anything. I’ll text Bill if we do.” He turned towards Eddie and motioned him forward, setting off to go look.

  
  


For the first fifteen minutes they had called out Richie’s name as they passed through the woods. Stan knew Richie, and he was well aware that when he got really upset he withdrew, both physically and emotionally. So now he was here to deal with the aftermath, which he’d only done a handful of times. Not only because Richie rarely ever did get this upset, but also because it was usually Eddie who would deal with him when he did. But Stan had an itching suspicion that it wouldn’t go as smoothly this time around if he did. He knew that Eddie was worried, _ of course _ he was, but he could also see that he a bit hesitant about looking for Richie alone this time around—being the reason Stan offered to come along with him.

  
  


Stan observed as Eddie kept his hands in his pockets staring off to the side, tight lipped. It didn’t take a genius to sense Eddie’s discomfort. Stan forced a cough to break the silence before speaking. “So, I know it’s none of my business but maybe it’d be good to know what Richie might have gotten so upset about.”

  
  


Eddie drew out a sigh. “I don’t know Stan, honestly I don’t. We talked and–,“ he paused, uncomfortably scratching at the back of his neck, “he was _ off _ . I mean he didn’t seem mad when he woke up or anything, he was kind of -- _ cheerful _? Then he went quiet after a while and left. That’s honestly all I know.” Eddie was tired, maybe he did something to make Richie uncomfortable, but he refused to delve more into that. Eddie had gone through great lengths to prevent any of this from happening. Now he wasn’t so sure.

  
  


Stan exhaled, he knew Richie kept much of what bothered him secret, but he’d at least been comforted in the idea that Eddie was there to drag it out of him. Now it seemed as though he’d have to step in. “It’s fine Eddie, we’ll just keep looking. I’m sure he didn’t go too far.” He offered a smile, attempting to reassure Eddie. The other boy seemed to relax a bit as they kept on their search.

  
  


As they kept walking for a little while longer, a thought suddenly popped into Stan’s head.

  
  


“Wait.” Stan stopped dead in his tracks making Eddie snap around to look at him. 

  
  


“What?” Eddie asked as steadily as he could, trying to keep his voice down.

  
  


“I think I know where he might’ve gone.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Eddie’s legs began to ache—having walked for forty minutes straight, now off the camping grounds. 

  
  


“So this is where the trailers are?” Stan stopped to catch his breath.

  
  


Eddie huffed. “Yeah as far as I remember there’s a park around here.” 

  
  


Stan made his way through and spotted a few benches past the trees in their way. He kept on looking around with Eddie right behind. Stan could see in the distance a figure sitting on the bench, back facing them. 

  
  


“Richie!” Eddie exclaimed without thinking. He winced catching how loud he’d been. “Sorry.”

  
  


Stan shook his head before continuing to get closer. Once they were in earshot of the man, he was able to confirm that it was in fact Richie. He began striding, now relieved. “Rich, man what’re you doing out here?” 

  
  


Richie didn’t bother to turn around, Stan rounded the man to face him. He was surprised to find Richie unexpectedly composed. Stan had at least expected Richie’s usual pinched impatient expression he wore when he’d get cornered. 

  
  


Eddie without thinking came rushing towards him. “Richie! I’ve been so worried what the fuck!”

  
  


Before Stan got the chance to scold the younger boy for his abrasiveness, Richie began to chuckle—startling both Eddie and Stan. 

  
  


“Sorry, I put my phone on airplane mode.” Richie responded nonchalantly.

  
  


This made Eddie tick. “Sorry? Richie, I've been so worried.” He exclaimed, throwing his arms up.

  
  


“Eddie calm down, Richie obviously wanted to be left alone.”

  
  


“No it’s fine. I just came out here to think.” Richie waved Stan off, as he took a drag from his cigarette.

  
  


“What the hell Richie, you can't smoke out here. There are signs!” Eddie hissed. He was now both confused by Richie’s blasé attitude and angry from his complete negligence to his health.

  
  


Richie let out a chuckle, receiving puzzled glances from both Stan and Eddie. “Don’t worry Shortstack I was gonna put it out anyway.” Taking one last inhale before grinding it out beneath his shoe. 

  
  


Eddie made a disgusted expression from the smoke leaving his mouth, making Richie quirk a smile in return. “C’mon let’s head back.” He jumped onto his feet before wrapping an arm around the smaller boy and giving him a noogie. 

  
  


Eddie yelped in response. “Richie! Off of me!” He 

wrestled loose, making Stan roll his eyes at the display. “Fuck you Richie, now my hair’s a mess.” He glared as Richie laughed, watching him nestle his hair back to place.

  
  


Stan could see how Richie’s smile shifted and eyes lowered while continuing to stare, as Eddie looked away. 

  
  


“Let’s get going I texted Beverly that we found you. She’s about to start up the fire for the burgers.” Stan put his phone back into his pocket, turning to leave.

  
  


Eddie perked up. “Oh do you think she brought some of her aunt’s homemade dressing?” Moving past Richie to walk ahead as he led the way back.

  
  


Stan slowed down waiting for Richie to catch up. “Hey Rich, are you okay?” He whispered.

  
  


Richie’s lips quirked into a smile, not quite so happy, as his eyes continued to stare at Eddie right ahead. “Yeah I feel like I’m okay now. Or at least I will be.” He finally looked at Stan, eyes carrying so much emotion.

  
  


Riche took a breath before walking faster, catching up to Eddie as he cheerfully wrapped an arm around him—attitude completely shifting as they started to chatter. 

  
  


Stan stood back, watching as they talked. He could only hope that everything _ was _.

* * *

**March 2019**

  
  
  


Beverly sat on the couch waiting for Richie to come out of the bathroom, flipping through one of Maggie’s vintage magazines.

  
  


Maggie came in with two cups before sitting down by her. “I didn’t know if you liked your coffee with cream or without, so I brought one straight black just in case.” Wearing a smile.

  
  


“Oh thank you Mrs.Tozier.” Choosing the bitter black coffee as she smiled just before sipping.

  
  


Maggie settled in as she drank some from her own cup, looking over at Beverly. “Oh I see you found my Allure magazine.” Maggie’s eyes scanned the page. “Oh wow I completely forgot crimped hair was a thing.”

  
  


Beverly laughed. “Yeah that was most definitely a statement…along with some _ other _questionable fashion choices.” 

  
  


“You know I have a whole box filled with fashion magazines from the early nineties and late eighties. You could look through them if you need any inspiration. Isn’t that what the youth are doing nowadays, _ retro _?” She enthused.

  
  


Beverly nodded along, amused. “Yep. I was thinking about getting some ideas from the makeup. It’s very minimalized in these candids.” She shrugged, flipping through the pages.

Richie then stepped in, slapping a hand against the door frame as he leaned against it, hair still damp from the shower. “I hope you both haven’t been gossiping about your’s truly.” He joked, simper across his face. Striding across the room towards them.

  
  


“No, we were just talking about my lethargic son, and his inability to fold his own laundry.” Maggie rolled her eyes, with a glint of mirth.

  
  


Beverly laughed. “Your mom should be the comedian of the family.”

  
  


“Not so sure about that, all she’d do is roast me on stage.”

  
  


“Exactly.” Beverly giggled at his mock astonishment.

  
  


“Well it seems as though both of you ladies are comedians now.” Plopping down on the wing chair beside them.

  
  


Maggie rolled her eyes. “Well as much as I’d love to stick around, I’m off to go buy some groceries. Your father’s been asking for some crab legs all week.” She stood to pat herself down. “Don’t cause Beverly too much trouble, you hear me.”

  
  


Richie saluted. “Yes ma’am.” 

  
  


Beverly waited until Maggie had gone off, now alone to speak. She bit her lip, expression apologetic. “Richie, I’ve thought it over and I think it’s best if I just tell them you’re not co–“

  
  


“I decided I’m going.” He cut in.

  
  


Beverly halted, she had to rewind there for a bit. Now breaking out into a grin as she jumped from where she sat, pulling Richie in for an awkwardly placed hug. “Oh my god! Richie I swear if you need to leave or anything, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I won’t ask you to stay any longer than you feel like. But Jesus, this is finally happening!” 

  
  


“Okay, okay, I get it.” He pulled away, feeling flushed. “Well when are we gonna go?” 

  
  


“Oh yeah, sorry! It’s almost two in the afternoon...so -- Uh -- around 4:30?” She rambled as she scattered around, gathering her things. “I’ll come to pick you up, yeah? I just need to head back real quick.” 

  
  


Richie went to stand feeling awkward, noticing Beverly intent gaze. “What?” 

  
  


“We definitely need to do something about your outfit.”

  
  


Richie looked down at himself, khakis and an old flannel he got as a gift a few years back. “What? This is comfie.”

  
  


“And absolutely hideous. Rich, you can be comfortable while being fashionable.”

  
  


“False.”

  
  


“What do you have in your closet?”

  
  


He shifted, scratching the back of his neck, face now heating. “Well… most of my clothing. I didn’t take much with me to Cali. I was...in a rush, so to speak.” 

  
  


“Okay well, some of your old fashion choices were for sure questionable, but I think I can still work with that.” She began walking towards the stairs, leaving Richie behind before he sped to catch up.

  
  


Richie stood back, warily staring as Beverly rummaged through his closet, picking and tossing back clothing on hangers.

  
  


“Oh this could be cute -- and with this? No -- with _ this.” _She strung out her words. 

  
  


“Bev, not to interrupt you or anything, but what exactly are you even going for here? While I do trust your artistic decision, Uh you’re making me nervous.”

  
  


“I make you nervous? Rich, your crocheted shawl from wet seal makes me nervous.”

  
  


“Hey! It was very convenient for plane rides.”

  
  


Beverly shook her head, now going back. She picked and tossed at the different selection of shirts, crewnecks, flannels and Hawaiian shirts Richie hung on his rack. “I feel like the more I go through your wardrobe the less it makes sense.”

  
  


“Listen I was a growing boy. I wore whatever fit, and whatever was clean at the moment.”

  
  


“Well there’s not much to work with, but maybe this white tee under… _ aha _! -- this denim jacket, and maybe… black jeans, with those white vans you have at the bottom.” She took a step back after placing them on the bed, giving a nod, thinking she’d done her best with what she’d been given. “Yeah not too bad, amirite?”

  
  


Richie didn’t even know he had most of these things, so he had to applaud her for going through his mess of a closet. “Eh, not too shabby. I mean I’m more of a leather jacket type of guy myself, but the denim fits the look I guess.”

  
  


Beverly went to smack his chest. “Now get dressed I’ll be back for you in an hour.” 

  
  


He watched as she left, letting out a sigh. “This is going to be a night for sure…” Now rubbing at his forehead, feeling the need to lay down.

* * *

**September 2012**

  
  
  


“Okay I spy with my little eye something...red!”

  
  


“Easy, this scab I got from falling off your platform.”

  
  


Beverly shoved at him playfully. “I get it Richie. Don’t make you wear heels again. Got it.”

  
  


“And don’t forget it.” 

  
  


Then an alarm from Richie’s phone went off, making him groan. “Fuck, that was today? Well Miss Marsh, it sadly seems that I’ll have to cut this visit short. I’m off to the library.”

  
  


“Wow, honestly I’m surprised they let you volunteer.”

  
  


“Ah, Ah! Requested,” he corrected. “Not volunteer.”

  
  


She rolled her eyes. “Oh sorry, my mistake, requested for your help, is that right?”

  
  


“Of course baby, I’m a genius what can I say.”

  
  


“Uhuh? So um, how do you turn on your washer machine again?” She giggled as Richie went to tickle her, cutting the conversation short.

  
  


“Don’t use basic household chores against me.”

  
  


She tossed one of her pretzels at him. “Whatever, get out of here before I call your mother for harassing me.”

  
  


“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back in like an hour, or however long the tutoring session lasts this time.”

  
  


“I still can’t believe you waited ‘till senior year to get your community service hours done.”

  
  


“Eh it’s not so bad. I mean this is stuff I’m good at—math. It goes by pretty fast.”

  
  


Beverly yawned. “I’ll just stick around your yard for a little while longer. I’m not in the mood to bike back right now.”

  
  


“I’ll text you once I’m out.” He turned to leave, grabbing his keys out of his back pocket. “Later.”

  
  


“Have fun.” She saluted, eyes closed now.

  
  


Beverly then watched as Richie pulled out of the driveway, and went on his way. She felt her eyes get heavy and began to drift off as she sat under the tree. Not even five minutes later did she hear crunchy steps of the grass from underneath someone’s shoe get increasingly more clear. Now opening one eye to peer out from where it was coming from. Seeing a familiar figure she was able to make out Eddie. Beverly sat up, now watching as he strode across the lawn.

  
  


Eddie came walking forth, not noticing Beverly as he made his way sharply to the porch.

  
  


“He’s not here!” She tilted her head forward to catch his attention, as he was now past her.

  
  


Eddie jumped, evidently shocked at her announcement. “Oh Bev I didn’t see you there.”

  
  


She smiled, “What are you here for? To lecture Richie? ‘Cause don’t worry I’ve been at it all morning.”

  
  


Eddie laughed, seeming a bit flushed. “Uh no, not this time I guess. I actually needed to meet up with him for some driving lessons.”

  
  


“Oh yeah. Well would you look at that, Eddie trusting Richie enough behind the wheel to not get him killed. Progression!” They both laughed. “That’s weird, when did he tell you to come over?”

  
  


Eddie went to check his phone. “He said yesterday he was free at 2:30.”

  
  


“Hm? He probably forgot he had to tutor today.”

  
  


Eddie’s face went grim. “He’s tutoring today again?”

  
  


Beverly laughed as she grimly took a sip from her la croix. “I know right, but he needs the hours to graduate so I’m not sure when he’s off the hook.”

  
  


Eddie let out an exasperated sigh. “He’s been at it for three weeks now. Constantly.” 

  
  


She shrugged. “I mean they did ask him to volunteer. And he still needs all thirty hours.”

  
  


Eddie slumped against the wall, crossing his arms. “Yeah but he has to tutor Bowers’s cousin.” 

  
  


Beverly stared at him for a second before giggling. “Eddie he’s fine. I mean sure his cousin’s a psychopath but Henry’s in prison now. And Connor isn’t an asshole like him.”

  
  


“Riche told me what happened at the arcade back in middle school.” Eddie whispered, trying to mask his frustration.

  
  


“Connor apologized, and Richie decided to forgive him. You know him, just not the type to hold a grudge.”

  
  


Eddie leaned back, pouting. “Well maybe he should.” He said under his breath.

  
  


“Richie said he’d be back in an hour if you want to wait?”

  
  


“Uh, no thanks. Imma just head back home.” He waved before turning back, walking to his bike tilting on its stand.

  
  


“Well okay. I’ll see you later then.” 

  
  


“Mhm, bye.” Eddie bit his lip as he took off. He was indeed not planning on going back home, he didn’t need to deal with his mother five hours before necessary. Eddie decidedly turned right on the street, heading for the local Derry library.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“See I don’t get how you got that from approaching from four.”

  
  


“Well let’s see. So in this graph the value of our function appears to be approaching three. You need to remember that you can have a limit exist at an x-value where the function itself is not defined.”

  
  


“Oh shit, sorry I forgot.”

  
  


“Hey, it happens, that's what I’m here for.” Richie shot a smile, receiving one back.

  
  


“Hey I was meaning to ask you something last time.”

  
  


“Hm?”

  
  


“Well, I don’t want to put you on the spot or anything, but… I was kind of fired from my job last weekend and I kind of need a new one before my dad finds out and drills me to the ground.” Connor bashfully rubbed at his neck.

  
  


“Hey yeah, of course. I mean I’m pretty tight with the manager at the movie rental, I’ll hook you up for sure.”

  
  


Connor perked up. “Yeah? I can give you my number to call in case anything comes up.”

  
  


“Oh yeah, for sure -- wait, okay just type in your number.” Richie passed his phone, watching as the other boy dialed and rang the number. 

  
  


“There now we both have each other’s number just in case.” Connor flashed a smile.

  
  


Right then he could see as Connor’s eyes shifted, looking past him. Richie turned around to find a familiar brunette making his way through, looking around.

  
  


“Eds!” Richie winced as the librarian shushed him sharply. “Sorry.” He whispered.

  
  


Eddie looked on over, face in recognition. “Richie, I don’t expect to see you here.” Forcing out a smile in front of them both.

  
  


“Oh yeah, I was just going over limit values with Connor.”

  
  


“Oh really?” He kept his smile tight. He didn’t know why, but there was something he just didn’t like about the blonde boy. Maybe it was the fact that they were only three weeks into the new school year and he already needed tutoring, every, single, weekend.

  
  


“Hey.” The boy behind waved, making Eddie’s eye twitch, before giving a tight smile and nod.

  
  


Richie then suddenly cursed under his breath. “Shit, Eds I’m sorry. I forgot we had some driving planned for today.” 

  
  


Eddie thought that he _ should _ be sorry. Making plans and then canceling, _ again. _ But ultimately Eddie kept his cool. “It’s chill, I was actually just here to study a bit myself.”

  
  


“Would you like to join us?”

  
  


Eddie then sat beside him without hesitation. “Don’t let me get in the way. I’ll just catch up on some reading.” He began rummaging through his backpack. Eddie had recently dropped the fanny packs for it. The bag wasn’t as big as the one he took to school, but it was definitely bigger than both his old fanny packs alone. It had seemed more convenient, sure he still got picked on by Richie for it, but he liked his baby blue fjallraven kanken, especially since Beverly had gifted it to him.

  
  


Eddie’s eyes twitched as he noted the mutual smile the other two boys shared at that moment, as if there was some inside joke. What did Connor know? He’d known Richie since second grade, and if he’d said so himself, he’d been his _ best friend _since sixth.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


If there was one thing Eddie was good at, it was pretending to keep busy when he wasn’t. He’d mastered this skill from years of avoiding his mother’s heckling. And it seemed to keep in handy for cases like these as well. One thing he noticed is that Connor made _ way _too much eye contact, even while Richie was in the middle of explaining a concept to him on his paper. No wonder he needed so many lessons, it seemed as if he was studying Richie rather than the numbers in front of him.

  
  


Sure it was sort of annoying to notice how academically irresponsible Connor obviously was, but what really got under his skin was his non-stop commentary, always looking to make a joke. How would he be able to learn as efficiently as possible if he 

kept stopping Richie every other minute searching for a laugh, and since when did Richie find a Bowers this funny?

  
  


Richie was in the middle of wiping a tear from his eye, attempting to contain his laughter after receiving a warning from the librarian. Connor was beside him, shoulders shaking from silent laughter as he kept his forehead against the taller boy’s shoulder.

  
  


“Oh my god, no way.” Richie exhaled.

  
  


“I know he got so mad, you should have seen him.”

  
  


“I would have paid to.” Richie grabbed at his stomach, laughter dying down. “Can you believe that Eds?”

  
  


“Hm?” Eddie fleetingly stared away from his book, acting as if he hadn’t just intently listened to Connor’s annoying story about Henry’s ‘incident’ in his bed. Why was he going on a ten minute spiel about this in the middle of tutoring anyways?

  
  


Richie waved him off. “Never mind.” Eddie then thanked the lord that Richie’s alarm went off. It had been an hour now, so Eddie could thankfully get out of here. “Shoot times up, well I can try and do two hours next Saturday.”

  
  


“Maybe it’d be better if I went off to your place over the week and finished the lesson off before next Saturday?” Eddie had to bite his tongue from saying anything, he didn’t trust Connor’s innocent tone.

  
  


“Yeah dude. Just text me and I’ll see when.” Richie got up as Eddie proceeded to gather his things. “Ready Eds?”

  
  


“Yeah,” Eddie confirmed, out of breath from his rush. 

  
  


Richie waited until he got up to start walking. “I’ll see you later Connor.”

  
  


“Bye Rich.”

  
  


Eddie almost pulled a muscle from how fast he had to react to resist from snapping his head back around. Since when were they that close? _ Rich _? Only the losers ever called Richie that. 

  
  


They walked out in silence, and Richie could sense Eddie’s silent anger. “Look I said I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t remember I had to tutor today.”

  
  


“Again.”

  
  


Richie rolled his eyes. “Come on Eds, I’ll make it up to you. What do you say we drop by Mr. Axton’s workshop?”

  
  


“The way you talk to me as if I’m a child.”

  
  


“Would wittle Weddie wike ta go see da wookshop?”

  
  


“I should muzzle you.”

  
  


“Hot and kinky.” Richie cackled as Eddie’s face burned red.

  
  


“Don’t say stupid shit like that you dumbass!”

  
  


“Come on I’m just teasing. I know you’re the vanilla type.”

  
  


“See if I talk to you again.” He crosses his arms.

  
  


Richie raised a brow as he began to lift Eddie’s bike onto his truck’s cargo bed. “You’re a riot,” He smirked, making Eddie even more irritated

  
  


Eddie flipped him off as he went around to the passenger's door waiting broodingly for Richie to unlock it. He wasn’t actually mad at anything Richie had said or done, _ okay maybe a little _. Richie had canceled plans for the fourth time in a row now, always seeming to be busy with Connor. Eddie deserved to be cut some slack, he was being more than a little forgiving If you asked him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Richie was bobbing his head to the music, lightly drumming against the steering wheel as he drove. Eddie kept silent throughout, and while sure for the most part it would seem as though things were normal, he knew otherwise. Eddie was achingly aware of how different Richie had been behaving since the camping trip and it made Eddie reel. He didn’t want to come off as needy or pest-y, but lately Richie had been making it more than clear that he’d rather not spend any of his free time with him. It was hurtful at first, but he knew Richie would never do something as blunt if he hadn’t a reason. Eddie knew well that while yes, Richie needed the hours from tutoring for school, he also used it as an excuse to avoid him.

  
  


Eddie was in a whirl of overthinking almost everything he did, maybe he had made Richie uncomfortable and now Richie was setting the record straight by distancing himself, but Eddie really hoped that wasn’t the case. He couldn’t help but curse himself for getting drunk, he had been more than a little emotional at the time and did the dumbest thing he could think of—getting shitfaced. Now he had to deal with the consequences of his decisions, making it so much worse since he didn’t know what exactly he had done. Eddie barely remembered even half the things he did before the campfire, only bits and pieces, with more slowly coming back to him as he tried to piece them together.

  
  


Eddie bit his lip contemplating whether or not to bring it up, he wasn’t trying to escalate things any further south. Maybe it had been the fact that they were finally alone and the tense feeling wouldn’t go away otherwise, but he decided that it was now or never. “Hey Richie, can we pull over, i feel like we should talk.” He could see the other boy tense.

  
  


“Okay.” It came out steady, Richie’s eyes trained on the road.

  
  


The truck came to a smooth stop along the road, the vibrations for the car stopped as Richie turned off the vehicle, along with the music. They both sat in silence for what felt like a long pause, Eddie didn’t know where to start or what to say.

  
  


“Richie,” he stopped to exhale. “You know you’re my friend right? My best friend. And I hope that I’ve been clear on my end of things. I’m not sure if I’m going crazy or whatever but I hope that you know how much I care about our relationship. And we’ll alway be friends...right?”

  
  


Richie didn’t look at him, his brows knitted together as he bit his lip, seeming to be deep in thought. Eddie almost didn’t think he was going to respond.

  
  


“Uh, yeah Eds. I think it's been more than clear that that’s all we are.” His voice came out sharp and rough, gripping at the steering wheel. Eddie wasn’t prepared for his tone, but yet again he wasn’t exactly sure what he was apologizing for.

  
  


“I’m sorry.”

  
  


Richie gave a curt nod, giving him a tight smile before turning his keys to start the truck again. The conversation was shorter than he’d expected, but he could sense Richie’s uneasiness and the last thing he wanted was to strain their relationship further. “Let’s head home.”

  
  


The rest of the way was driven in silence. Eddie hoped that Richie could forgive him for whatever he had done. 

* * *

  
  


**March 2019**

  
  
  


Richie could see as the door clicked open from where he sat against his father’s wingback chair. 

  
  


“Oh, Richie dear could you help me with the groceries please.” Maggie huffed out as she held a bag in each arm. 

  
  


Richie’s eyebrow inched upward. “That’s quite a bit of groceries you bought there, planning on hosting a feast?”

  
  


“Hm?” She looked up from her phone. “Sorry sweetie I was just looking through my messages.” 

  
  


Richie sighed as she walked past him. “Okay ignore me, not a foreign concept nowadays.” 

  
  


“Oh you stop that. Your father and I have spent the past twenty four years under your thumb. Don’t think I forgot about you tricking us into giving you three hundred dollars for your sixteenth.”

  
  


“Okay to be fair, in my defense, Mortal Kombat had just been released, and I did what needed to be done.”

  
  


“Richard, there are four more bags of groceries in the trunk and those extra jumbo shrimp aren't getting any cooler.”

  
  


“Say less.” Richie sprung out from his seat and went on his way to the car. 

  
  


He put two bags in each hand before closing the trunk, swiftly turning around and startling himself as he came face to face with a certain brunette.

  
  


“Eds.” The air seemed to be punched out of his lungs. He saw as the other man’s eyes widened, it almost seemed as if his cheeks were flushed, but then again it was eighty degrees out.

  
  


“Hey Richie.” Eddie picked at his hands, eyes battling to meet the taller man’s.

  
  


Richie kept a straight face, he would like to say that it was his self control, but he knew it was just the numbness spreading through him. 

  
  


Eddie laughed, a finger twirling at the ends of his hair. Richie had always loved it grown out; curling at the ends when it got long enough, but it seemed as though Eddie had been keeping himself well trimmed. “I’m sorry I’m being ridiculous right now. I was actually just passing through the neighborhood, and I saw that you were out here, and I thought, _ he looks like he could use some help. _ But it seems like you have it handled.” He shyly motioned at Richie’s figure.

  
  


If Richie could use his brain, he would have been able to figure out that Eddie's explanation made absolutely no sense. Richie lived at least three blocks away from any of the other losers, there was absolutely no reason to be passing by.

  
  


“Oh yeah.” Richie huffed out an awkward laugh as he looked down. His biceps strained through his white long sleeve.

  
  


“Well um, yeah I guess that’s all.” Eddie smiled shyly, he began slowly shifting backwards. It was clear Eddie was embarrassed and was planning his escape.

  
  


“Wait!” He startled them both with his exclaim. He winced as he caught sight of Eddie's widened eyes. “Sorry that came out louder than expected. I was actually just wondering if you wanted to come in?” He saw Eddie's mouth open in surprise. “Well I mean if you want to, I wouldn’t want to pressure you into acce-“

  
  


“Of course!” 

  
  


Richie stared back a bit shocked for a second before recovering quickly. “Okay, yeah. Um, okay.” He laughed, it was all so bizarre but alarmingly easy to do. “My mom’s inside, she was planning on making seafood today. I know you were a fan of her oysters.”

  
  


Eddie smiled back at him as he continued to chatter away.

  
  


Richie opened the door, waiting for Eddie to pass through first, making the shorter man blush, or so it seemed. “Thank you.”

  
  


“Richie dear, I just got off the phone with your Gran and -- Oh! I didn’t know we were getting visitors.” She smoothed out her dress, smiling at the sight of the familiar boy that would hang around her house every Saturday with her son.

  
  


“Hello Mrs. Tozier.” Eddie said with a shy smile. She looked not much older than he’d last seen her, just a few wrinkles settled at the edges of her eyes, with a few grays here and there in her raven hair.

  
  


“Oh Eddie, it’s so good to see you again sweetie. And you know it’s Maggie, no need for formalities.” She greeted him with a warm hug and smile. It was tight as she swayed a bit, then pulling back. “Wow, I haven’t seen you in years. Look at you, taller and -- firm!” She squeezed at his upper arms, making him laugh from embarrassment.

  
  


“Okay, okay, I invited him to say hello not to be groped.”

  
  


Maggie quirked an unimpressed brow at Richie. “Eddie dear, come sit.” She pulled him over to the couch much to Richie’s dismay.

  
  


“Mom Beverly’s on her way soon, we’re gonna head out.”

  
  


“Well we’ll just have to fill the time while you two wait.”

  
  


Richie sighed as he sat on an empty seat.

  
  


“Tell me Eddie how’s life been?” She stared attentively at the other man, making his face heat up.

  
  


“Oh, well Um, I just got a job as an ER nurse.” Eddie jumped at her enthused reaction.

  
  


“That’s amazing! Sonia must be really proud.”

  
  


Richie could see as Eddie’s smile became strained. “Uh Yeah, it was quite the announcement for sure.”

  
  


“Well, I know how much you’ve always wanted to go out and make a change. I’m really proud of you.”

  
  


Eddie’s breath hitches, eyes turning glassy. “Um, thank you Mrs. Toz– I mean, _ Maggie _.” She returns the smile, gripping his hands tightly, almost knowingly.

  
  


Richie sat back, face schooled while staring absently afar. He crossed his arms as he tried to give Eddie privacy. He wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to be present for moments like these anymore.

  
  


Then a honk came from outside, dragging their attention away from the conversation. “That’s probably Bev. We should get going.” His voice was rough as he slipped his jacket on.

  
  


Eddie looked up jerkingly, face flushed from just before. “Oh yeah, of course. It was nice seeing you again Maggie.” He got up along with her and gave her a hug before stepping away to follow Richie.

  
  


“Bye boys, have fun. I’ll be expecting you back by nine Richard.” She gave him a pointed look, making him roll his eyes.

  
  


“Yes mom, _ an important announcement, _ I’ve got it.” He opened the door and stepped away, allowing Eddie to go through first. He gave his mother a hug just before following the other man.

  
  


Maggie stood by the door, watching as they walked along. “Tell Beverly I said hello!”

  
  


Richie gave her a wave as he continued to walk, still facing forward. He got into the back seat as Eddie rounded the car to go through the other side. 

  
  


Ben sat behind the wheel as Beverly turned around in the passenger’s seat to face Richie. “Well I’ll be, lookin’ quite snazzy aren’t we?” Beverly chirped with a pleased smile.

  
  


“Yeah, must’ve been my extraordinary fashion intuition.” He buckled into his seat as the door next to him opened much to Beverly’s surprise.

  
  


Her eyes widened at the sight of the other man.“Oh Eddie! I thought we were going to meet up with you and Bill at the restaurant.” Her face wore a smile too big for her face, eyes shifting to Richie in confusion. 

  
  


“Oh yeah sorry, I was um, around the neighborhood and ran into Richie.” Eddie let out an awkward laugh.

  
  


Richie kept his smile tight lipped, as he hummed in agreement. 

  
  


“And Bill texted me, he said he was confirming our reservation.” 

  
  


“Well we should be on our way now.” Ben cut in, diffusing the tension between all three.

  
  


Richie sat back, noting Eddie's stiff frame—keeping his body the farthest to his side as possible. All Richie could do was exhale tiredly, he didn’t expect for the tension to diffuse, but observing Eddie’s guarded behavior made him feel so estranged that it almost hurt.

  
  


The entire ride consisted of silence from both of them as Ben kept randomly pointing out different places they’d gone as kids. As much as Richie hated it, he appreciated Ben’s attempt in filling in the silence. 

  
  


Once they got to the parking lot Beverly perked up. She whipped her head back around to face Richie. “Okay, i know we said no surprises–“

  
  


“Beverly–“

  
  


“–but this isn’t one if I already told you. Just wait okay, it’s good!”

  
  


Richie sighed. “Fine, what is it?”

  
  


Beverly scoffed. “Well I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise, now would I?” 

  
  


“We sure wouldn’t want that,” Eddie added as he gave a playful smile. Richie smiled back, feeling a familiar warmth spread throughout his chest.

  
  


“Okay well let’s go, Bill’s already waiting.” Ben spoke up, unbuckling himself.

  
  


Beverly continued to look joyous, definitely more excited than Richie about the surprise.

  
  


Richie tried to train his eyes on himself, suppressing the urge to look at Eddie, only a foot away. It wasn’t like himself to be this focused on one thing, he wanted to blame it on his curiosity. All those years apart, the urge to sit for hours and observe Eddie from head to toe frightened him. But of course that’s all it was, nothing more, _ of course _. 

  
  


He walked ahead of everyone else, with Eddie not even half a foot behind, it almost felt as if they were walking together. And for some reason that made his stomach squeeze tight. 

  
  


Richie opened the door for him, making Eddie smile timidly as he attempted to hide his reddened face from him. All Richie could do was smile back, pleased with himself for drawing such a reaction out of the other man, but quickly switching at the sight of Beverly’s silent gaze. “What?” He whispered.

  
  


She shrugged with false innocence. “Nothing.” Making

Richie tick from her smugness.

  
  


“We’re the reservation under Marsh.” She told the hostess, drawing a wide eyed reaction.

  
  


“Marsh, as in Beverly Marsh?” The woman, who by the name tag was named Cindy.

  
  


Beverly could only chuckle as she became flush in the face. “Ah, yeah that’s me.” She elbowed Richie by his side as he snickered. 

  
  


“Ow!” He exclaimed as she shushed him.

  
  


“Wow I love your work, really I do. I’ve been following your blog since 2017, you’re really talented.” She had a glimmer in her eye as she spoke.

  
  


“Oh wow, that’s really sweet to hear. Didn’t know I had any followers in this cattle infested town of Derry.” Beverly huffed a chuckle.

  
  


“Ah yeah, it’s pretty dead around here. That’s why I was super surprised to see you here of all places, but I will say this is one of the best restaurants in Derry.”

  
  


“So is your Risotto as good as it says in the yelp review?” Richie cut in, impatient from their chatter.

  
  


She turned to him in delight. “Well if that’s what’s promised to you then I fully intend to keep that promise.” She gave a bitten smile at him with a tilt to her head as she tucked a loose strand of her blond hair behind her ear.

  
  


He gave a friendly smile back. “Thanks sweetheart, just lead the way.” He followed as she walked them toward their table. Richie didn’t miss Eddie’s stone cold expression. It was one he was all too familiar with, especially towards the end of their relationship.

  
  


Bill sat at a table conjoined with another to fit all five of them. He perked up, smiling at Beverly. “Took you guys long enough.” He got up and greeted her with a hug, continuing so until he got to Richie, he extended his hand. Richie stared down at it for a moment, it was more than he’d expected from Bill, but it had still been a cold gesture. He knew that they weren’t on good terms per se, but Richie hadn’t held a grudge. He was only wary on Bill’s end. Not wanting to cross any boundaries the other had built.

  
  


He took it at the end, shaking with an added firmness from Bill’s part. “Good to see you man.”

  
  


Bill gave a stiff nod. “It’s been a while Richie.” He pulled away first, then turning to Eddie. “I saved you a seat.” He motioned the man to the end of the table, as he then sat beside him. Richie couldn’t help but feel as though it was to ensure that _ he _ wouldn’t.

  
  


“Hey babe, come sit by me.” Beverly waved Richie over as she sat in the middle, across from Bill. He began to walk over gripping Ben playfully on the shoulder as he passed by. He didn’t need anyone thinking he was bothered by the insinuation. 

  
  


Richie sat beside Beverly, now directly across from Eddie, and he couldn’t help but think Beverly had some idea of what she was doing. She had always played with the group like pieces on a board game, whether he liked it or not. 

  
  


Cindy came around their table giving them menus, stopping at Richie, now leaning just a bit to his side as she kept her note book and pen ready. “I’ll be your waitress for today. What can I get you guys to drink?” She wore a widened sweet smile with her eyes growing smaller as she slipped a few looks at Richie. 

  
  


“I’ll have a glass of water.” Eddie spoke up curtly, eyes fixed on his menu as he sharply flipped it open.

  
  


Beverly pressed her lips tight, sensing the tension building. “I’ll just get a lemonade.” She sweetly spoke, offering her a smile. 

  
  


“Same as her,” Ben said.

  
  


“I’ll take a sweet tea.” Bill added, placing an awkward hand onto Eddie’s rigid shoulder.

  
  


“Um yeah I’ll go ahead and have a water too.” Richie finishes off with a closed smile, drawing one from her as well. 

  
  


“Ice?” Eddie could see as her brow went up flirtatiously as she asked.

  
  


“Yes thank you.” Eddie spoke out, breaking whatever moment they were having. 

  
  


Richie scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Yeah me too.” 

  
  


“Okay, I’ll be back with your drinks.” She closes her note book, walking away with a sway to her hips.

  
  


Eddie let out a humorless chuckle then, as he continued to look reverently at his menu. 

  
  


“Is something funny?” Richie asks in confusion.

  
  


Eddie looks up innocently. “Huh? Oh no, just that it comes off a bit unsettling when someone who’s in a _ relationship _encourages someone else’s flirting, is all.”

  
  


Richie’s brows raised in shock. “Excuse me?”

  
  


“Wow! They have Carbonara here, would you look at that?” Beverly spoke aloud with a nervous laugh as she flipped her menu toward them.

  
  


Richie sat back, he could almost laugh. It all came back right then, all so _ familiar _ that it made him nauseous. He hadn’t even known that Eddie knew about Sam. This behavior and snarky attitude was one he knew all too well. But he was older now, more experienced, and the last thing he intended to do was goad Eddie’s comments. 

  
  


“So Bill, I know you’ve just published your sixth novel? And I heard from a little birdie that it just might be one of New York Times best sellers.” She smiled behind her menu.

  
  


Bill chuckled, a flush overtaking his face. “Uh it just might, we’ll see.”

  
  


“Come on Bill, no need to be humble. Your last book was amazing.” Eddie placed a warm hand onto his shoulder with an encouraging smile.

  
  


“The ending could use a little bit of help though.” Spoke a familiar voice behind them. 

  
  


Richie instantly recognized it, whipping his head around with eyes went wide like saucers. “Stan the man!” He instantly stood up, chair flying back. He charged at him, wrapping himself around the other with great intensity that was instantly reciprocated.

  
  


“Good to see you again Richie.” He chuckled as Richie kept his face pressed against the other, not letting up.

  
  


“Okay, okay, enough. Let’s not suffocate the poor man before he gets his first meal of the day.” Mike speaks out as he comes walking not far behind.

  
  


Richie pulls away, face gleeful. Stan still looked so alike his younger self, his hair just as curly. Face not quite as baby soft, his shaven face now more apparent. He stood not as tall as him, yet not quite as short as Eddie. “You guys sent Mike to go pick Stan up from the airport?”

  
  


“Yes, and I haven’t eaten in six hours. I refuse to eat airplane food.” Stan walks past them to sit somewhere, obviously tired.

  
  


“Oh here take my seat.” Richie steps away pointing at the chair beside Beverly.

  
  


Just before Stan could refuse he speaks up. “Don’t worry,” Richie grabs a chair beside them at the empty table, placing it in between Stan and Eddie. “See? No worry, come sit.” He motions Stan down toward the seat, bouncy from the new found energy.

  
  


Mike then sits next to Bill, stretching animatedly. “You guys haven’t ordered yet I hope.”

  
  


“No not yet, the waitress seemed pretty busy.” Eddie snarked as he continued busying himself with the menu. Making Richie let out a sigh. 

  
  


Mike raised a brow, mouthing silently in question at Beverly. She closed her eyes, seemingly tired of whatever had gone down, raising an excusing hand in response. 

  
  


Right then Cindy came back with a tray full of glasses. She swiftly placed them down. Ending behind Richie, as she leaned down suspiciously close over his shoulder. “There you go.” She looked over at him, at eye level in this position.

  
  


“I think we’re ready to order now.” Eddie cut in. 

  
  


“Oh okay, what can I get you guys?” She noted down Stan and Mike’s orders, as well as the rest of the losers’ meals. “It’ll be out in a second.” She gathered their menus, making sure to touch Richie’s hand as she took his, her smile extra sweet.

  
  


Stan raised a brow, watching as she left. “Well she sure was friendly wasn’t she?” Richie looked at him, surprise written all over his face at his insinuation. “Come on, you cannot still be _ this _ oblivious.”

  
  


“Well if I had known I wouldn’t be wearing this dumb look on my face.” He could hear the quiet scoff Eddie let out in between sips.

  
  


Stan shook his head with an amused expression. “Classic Richie. Keep that up and you might just be politician level ignorant.”

  
  


“Kiss my ass Stan.”

  
  


“Then wash it first.” 

  
  


Richie barked out a laugh. “So is that a promise?” Stan pushed his face away as he rolled his eyes.

  
  


They settled into a nice calm banter, catching up on how they were each doing. Stan had gone off on a ten minute spiel about his fiancé back home—Patricia, now soon to be wife. Though Richie kept his short, only mentioning comedy, and how that had gone since moving out to California.

  
  


“Wow so community college didn’t work out so well for you huh?”

  
  


“Nope.” He emphasized on the ‘p’. “Dropped out after the second semester.”

  
  


“Huh? I would have envisioned you getting into UCLA, or something like that with the grades you got.”

  
  


Richie took a sip of his drink, shaking his head. “Yeah I guess you have to apply yourself to school to qualify. I guess getting straight A’s isn’t enough, who knew?” He shrugged, placing his glass down. 

  
  


“And you Eddie?” Stan leaned forwards catching the other off guard. 

  
  


“Huh?” He said with wide bambi eyes. Richie coughed as he turned away, attempting not to stare.

  
  


“How’re things going for you?”

  
  


Eddie chuckled nervously. “Eh, everything’s been pretty much the same as last time.” Stan nodded, understanding the insinuation and cause of Richie’s stiffness. “But I guess something knew would be that I just got a job as an ER nurse at Bellevue Hospital.” He says it with his head high, making Richie feel just as proud. Though his response had surprised him a bit, he had expected Eddie to bring up his engagement. Richie then noticed something he hadn’t seen, his eyes widened at the tan line on Eddie’s left hand. Richie didn’t even notice that Eddie hadn’t been wearing his engagement ring.

  
  


“That’s more than just ‘_ something _’, Eds that’s amazing.” Richie said, expression sincere. Eddie’s eyes went wide, pink appearing onto his cheeks.

  
  


“Yeah Eddie, don’t undersell your accomplishments.” Stan nodded along.

  
  


Eddie shifted, tucking his hands away in a scurry. He chuckled with a tinge of color to his cheeks and a small shake to his head. “Um so how has wedding planning been doing?” He rasped out, taking a sip of water to clear his throat.

  
  


Stan let out a raspberry. “I think Patty’s mother is trying to kill us,” He sighed. 

  
  


Richie planted a firm grip onto his shoulder. “And this my friend is why you don’t get married.”

  
  


“What, you don’t believe in marriage?” Eddie said faster than expected. Seeming to take Rich aback, by the expression he wore.

  
  


Stan cleared his throat awkwardly at the scene. “Well I -- I don’t...um not really I guess,” Richie shrugged off as he picked his glass up for a drink.

  
  


Then suddenly Cindy came back with their food. “Sorry for the wait.” She gave an apologetic smile. Now coming around to give their orders to them each. This time Richie didn’t acknowledge her gentle caresses, or her suggestive behavior. Eddie had kept quiet as he watched, less tense now. 

  
  


After a little while of eating, Richie mustered up the nerve to speak to the brunette beside him, who seemed to really be into the pasta in front of him. 

  
  


“So how are you liking your Fettuccini Alfredo?” Richie leaned over, quietly asking with a suave smile. Their voices drowned out from the rest of the group's loud chatter.

  
  


Eddie’s eyes widened in surprise, choking mid bite. Richie leaned back fast, attempting to give the other space. “Are you okay?” He wore a worried expression, stopping himself from reaching over and patting the other’s back.

  
  


Eddie quickly nodded, raising a hand fast to dismiss himself. “I’m fine,“ he choked out, wetly coughing a few times before controlling his breathing.

  
  


“Woah Eddie is everything fine?” Bill turned to him worriedly, placing a hand onto the other’s shoulder attempting to comfort him. Richie didn’t fail to catch the sharp glances he took at him.

  
  


Eddie nodded, shrugging the other’s hand off, then bringing water up to his mouth as he took big gulps. His face was a scarlet shade of red, though Richie didn’t know if it was from having lost his breath or sheer embarrassment. “I’m fine Bill,” he huffed.

  
  


Bill kept his eyes locked on the other before sighing and turning back to Mike.

  
  


Richie smiled apologetically, giving the other some time to steady himself out before continuing. “You sure you’re okay?”

  
  


Eddie scowled. “Yes,” he snapped.

  
  


Richie instantly raised his hands in defense. “I wasn’t trying to offend you or anything.”

  
  


“Sorry, I um…it turned out that I wasn’t chewing as diligently as I had thought…” Eddie kept his voice small, as he slumped.

  
  


“Hey don’t sweat it, at least this time I didn’t need to do the Heimlich maneuver.” He chuckled, pressing his fork through the lasagna on his plate.

  
  


Eddie glowered. “Fuck you, you almost broke my ribs!”

  
  


“Hey! In my defense we were fifteen, and the adrenaline made it hard for me to coordinate my movements correctly.” Richie laughed.

  
  


The side of Eddie’s mouth motioned upward. “I remember how you stunk like absolute shit that day too.”

  
  


Richie’s mouth dropped open. “It wasn’t my fault that you got the directions wrong and I ended up in a skunk burrow!”

  
  


Eddie threw his head back as a laugh erupted from him. “Oh my god, you were so mad that day.”

  
  


“Yeah I refused to even look at you for the rest of the day.” Richie nodded with a chuckle.

  
  


Eddie smirked.“It took for me to offer you my share of candy to get you to speak to me.” 

  
  


Richie shook his head, wearing a warm smile. At that moment it felt like those six years hadn’t gone by and it was still just _ Richie and Eddie _ , the duo that never left each other's side. Talking to Eddie was so easy and falling into a nice flow of banter made Richie ache in a way so distant and _ foreign _. But the last thing he wanted to do was delve deeper into what that could mean.

  
  


Beverly then raised her hand calling Cindy over, who now seemed to keep away from Richie’s side. “Can you bring us your finest Prosecco?”

  
  


“It’s still only 6:30 Bev.” Stan raised a brow at her.

  
  


“What?” she asked with faux innocence. “Oh c’mon, the whole gang’s together again! It’s a call for celebration if you ask me.”

  
  


“I guess I’ll have a cup or two.” Richie shrugged. “I haven’t had a drink in a few months, but it’s a special occasion, fuck it.”

  
  


Beverly shot a fist up in the air. “Yes! Now we’re getting it.”

  
  


Richie bursted out into a fit of laughter, with the rest following. Once the bottle arrived, time seemed to fly by, Richie then turned to look out the window to see the sky pitch black. 

  
  


They all went around talking about the past, and the stupid things they had gotten into, usually ending up with Richie at the local police station.

  
  


“I can’t believe that your parents didn’t send you off to some boarding school.” Eddie giggled, hiccups escaping as he took sips from his wine glass.

  
  


Richie barked a laugh. “I don’t know how they did it. Sometimes I thought they were going to but… I knew that’s the last thing they wanted to do.” He smiled down at his drink.

  
  


Eddie sighed with a pleased expression on his face. “Things were so simple back then.”

  
  


“Things seem pretty simple now if you ask me.”

  
  


Eddie laughed, nodding along. “It just so seems. I have this theory though, that it might just be because we’re all together again.” He leaned in with a whisper.

  
  


Richie had to fight off a shudder from the feeling of Eddie’s warm breath against his ear. “Is that so?”

  
  


Eddie giggled again, nodding slowly, then leaning in really close to Richie’s face, his breath hitting him. “But this time it’s different,” he said in a hushed voice. “Sure we’ve all met up together in the past, but…” He licked his lips as his eyes raked over Richie’s face. “this time you’re here.” He whispered even lower.

  
  


Richie felt like he could suffocate from the tension alone. The entire room felt hot all of a sudden. He cleared his throat in a panic before speaking as he pointed down at Eddie’s hand. “So you’re not wearing your engagement ring today, why is that?”

  
  


Eddie’s eyes widened, face a little pale now as he quickly backed away from Richie’s space. He began to sputter. “Oh, um…” His cheeks gaining some color as he looked down at his hand. “my mom doesn’t like seeing the ring on me when I come over.” He bit his lip.

  
  


Richie kept a schooled expression, noddingas he understood. “Maybe I should come over, get the little lady to relax with some good ole lovin’,” he joked, in an attempt to back track.

  
  


Eddie rolled his eyes. “Beep beep Richie.” He smiled as he shook his head.

  
  


Richie smiled to himself, things felt so normal. He wanted it so bad, he didn’t know _ what _, but he yearned for it.

  
  


The group continued to finish their drinks as they conversed for a while longer. Richie then looked to see that it was 8:40, he knew he had to head home soon. He wasn’t trying to test his mother’s patience. 

  
  


Richie slipped on his denim jacket as he stood walking over to Beverly, placing his hands onto her shoulders. “Well it seems that I gotta bounce.” A chorus of groans erupted.

  
  


“Aw come on Richie, what happened to the guy that would come home shit faced at three in the morning?” Beverly pouted, obviously now drunk.

  
  


“His liver started acting up, that’s what happened.” Richie laughed as she clung to his arm.

  
  


“I’ll go with you actually. I need to go see my mom before 9:30 so...” Eddie stood up from his seat as he rolled his sleeves up. He then met Bill’s gaze, a silent plea sent through a few looks, ending with Bill sighing in defeat.

  
  


“Call me when you get home. I’ll see you there in a few.” Bill said firm, but there was no hiding his worried gaze.

  
  


“Yeah don’t worry, I brought my spare key.” Eddie waved him off.

  
  


Richie caught sight of Stan. Richie tried to ignore as the other raised a brow at him, quickly turning away to clear his throat.

  
  


“Arrivederci!” Beverly called out as Ben steadied her chair as she tipped it. 

  
  


“Ciao!” Richie laughed, with Eddie following him along.

  
  


They stood outside in the cold early spring night. Richie could see as Eddie’s ears turned pink, along with the small chatter of his teeth. 

  
  


“Here take my jacket.” Richie could see the warmth of his breath through the coldness in the air.

  
  


Eddie looked as if he was about to refuse but then decided against it last minute. “Thank you.” He gave a small shy smile. Richie couldn’t miss the familiar look in his eyes, the one he used to die at sight of, but now he wasn’t so sure. He could be confusing the other’s friendliness for something more. 

  
  


Eddie felt so hugged and warm in Richie’s denim jacket, a few sizes too big for him. The smell of Richie’s spiced cologne should have been suffocating, yet it was anything but.

  
  


Richie called an Uber as they waited, it hadn’t taken long for the car to arrive. Richie offered to drop Eddie off first but the other had been adamant that since Richie’s place was closer, they go there first. Both choosing to sit on opposite sides in the back, each looking out their respective widows. Both their hands placed on the seat in between, almost reachable yet not quite. It began to rain, almost as if someone above was playing a cruel joke.

  
  


By the time they got to Richie’s place, it was only misting. It was almost nine as they arrived. “Just on time.” Richie leaned over to Eddie, as he kept his hands tucked into his pockets.

  
  


Eddie shook his head as he laughed. “Barely.”

  
  


“Aw c’mon give me some credit. Punctuality isn’t really my strong suit.”

  
  


“You could say that again.” Richie bumped his shoulder against the other’s with no real force behind it, going back and forth in a playful manner.. 

  
  


The porch lights were on and once Richie got to his door he could make out figures moving inside through the curtains. “Why don’t you come in?”

  
  


Eddie snapped his head up, staring wide at the other. “Oh no, I -- I wouldn’t want to intrude.” His face pink as he shook his head.

  
  


Richie scoffed. “Eddie, my parents love you. They’d love to see you again. Well, you’ve already seen my mom, but my dad’s been asking about you too.”

  
  


He continued to shake his head softly. “I don’t know my mom wants to see me–“

  
  


“It’s only nine, you said before 9:30. I’ll pay for your Uber and everything, just come in and say hi.”

  
  


Eddie sighed in defeat. “I guess I could make it by then.” He smiled bashfully at the sight of Richie's wide grin.

  
  


“Richard is that you?” Richie turned around at the sound of his mother’s voice. The door knob turned, as the door swung open. 

  
  


“Richie!” The air left his lungs as a pair of arms wrapped around his neck, face snug against his neck.

  
  


“Sam?” Richie’s eyes were wide. It was Sam, his boyfriend, from California, all the way in Maine? “What are you doing here?” He almost forgot to put on a smile as he finished his sentence. All very disorienting.

  
  


“Your mom invited me.” He smiled sweetly up at him, not yet removing his arms from Richie’s neck.

  
  


Then his mother came behind, standing by the door. “Oh! Eddie, I didn’t expect to see you here. Would you be joining us for dinner?” She smiled through a worried glance at Richie.

  
  


It had seemed that Sam didn’t know there was someone else behind Richie. He moved his head to the side, catching sight of the brunette. “Oh! Is this one of your friends, baby?”

  
  


Richie cringed inwardly at the pet name, he wasn’t sure why, but it felt very off at that moment. Richie turned around refusing to look at Eddie. “Oh um yes this is Eddie, Eddie this is Sam.” 

  
  


Sam kept an arm wrapped around his shoulder, keeping snug against the taller boy. He kept a firm grasp onto Richie’s arm, placing it at his waist. “Oh hi! I’m Richie’s boyfriend.” He flashed a toothy grin at Eddie. “I don’t think I remember Richie mentioning you before, weird...” Sam tilted his head in puzzlement. Then bringing a hand out, inviting the other for a shake.

  
  


Eddie kept his arms crossed tightly, his expression firm, before breaking out into a tight lipped smile and taking the other’s hand in a firm shake. “Hello, yeah um… we’re old friends, so…” it came out small by the end.

  
  


“Well any friend of Richie here is a friend of mine, right babe?” He smiled up at Richie, pressing even closer. 

  
  


Richie glanced at them both briefly, nodding tiredly. “Mhm,” Richie forced out. 

  
  


Sam then tugged Richie down for a firm kiss on the lips, Richie instinctively kept his mouth closed throughout.

  
  


“Well we should probably get back inside, we've been waiting a while. The food’ll go cold otherwise.” Sam said gently, tugging at Richie in a rush.

  
  


Richie turned quickly at the brunette. “Eds–“

  
  


Eddie brought his hand up, stopping him. “Don’t worry. I actually needed to head home so...” he began to back up before stopping, as he remembered something. “I’m sorry here.” He tugged off Richie’s denim jacket in a rush, extending his arm as far as he could so Richie could take it without having to get any closer.

  
  


“Eddie, are you sure? We cou–“

  
  


“No, no. Seriously I do need to head back now.” 

  
  


“Then let me at least order you an Uber.” Richie had a desperate look on his face.

  
  


Eddie shook his head. “I’m good, seriously. It’s fine, there’s a bus stop right back at the end of the street. I have some change on me, I can catch the last stop if I go now.” Eddie then turned to leave before Richie could respond. He got far as he walked fast, then turning briefly to speak. “I’ll talk to you later, I promise.” He yelled back. But It sounded anything other than reassuring. 

  
  


Richie saw as Eddie walked away, though not for long before he felt a few tugs at his sleeve. 

  
  


“Come on baby. It’s freezing out here.” Same wrapped himself around Richie’s arm, pulling him in.

  
  


Richie walked along, not turning to face the blond. As he went through the entrance he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He instantly recognized it as his mother’s. “Are you okay Richie?” Her voice sounded small as she tentatively asked. 

  
  


Richie continued to stare back at the pitch black darkness of the night, where Eddie had disappeared. He numbly nodded. “Uhuh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow!!!! Okay that was a lot for me to get out, please tell me what you though of the chapter :)


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